Living with anxiety is not a fun thing. I would not wish anxiety or depression on my worst enemies. It can be a vicious thing. It creates vicious circles that keep feeding itself over and over again.
For me, most of my anxiety is the result of my body, my stomach, and its unpredictability. It is something I have faced for a long, long time. As long as I can remember now. It’s hard to remember a time when I didn’t have it. I am still living with it now, even with my health improving. This blog is not just about how far I’ve come, but in my continuous journey to finding better health and better life.
One of the hard things about having a stomach that you can not control you don’t want to be in a car for an extended amount of time. Which also means you don’t want to be in the car with other people at the same time. As you don’t want them around you when things go poorly for you. For me, I prefer being alone when it happens. I wouldn’t want someone to see it happen, or me loose myself, or worse. I prefer it to be my me. I can stop if I need to, I can do my own thing. But when it has to happen, where someone needs to be with you for whatever reason, your brain and you go into overdrive.
It’s such a simple thing, riding in the car with others. Yet for one that has anxiety, panic attacks, it becomes one of the hardest things ever for them to do.
Today was just such a case. I was going out to the store to pick up groceries, and was taking a friend of a friend with me. Naturally I was nervous and anxious at this idea. But I needed to power through it and work through it, if I ever want to live a better life. They say to conquer fear one needs to confront it head on. I’ve never been a fan of that approach. Guess I’ve always been too scared to I guess. I have been forcing myself out more and more lately. It is helping. Still a long ways to go.
I am happy to report I was able to go out there to the store with no issues. I even stopped to talk to someone that liked my Zelda shirt I was wearing. Did I mention I am huge nerd?
Today was a good day. Another triumph for me. Here’s to many more.