Living with anxiety can make some of the smallest things become one of the hardest things ever. For my latest adventure of pushing myself more and more to go out places so I am able to live my life with anxiety. Instead of anxiety living my life for me.
The latest adventure would be going bowling with a friend and my friends friend. This bowling alley would be about thirty minutes away. I opted to drive myself there, alone, as this is easier on me. After getting to the area of where this Brunswick Zone would be it was no longer there and another bowling place was in its place. I had my heart set on going to this Brunswick Zone so we decided to go to another one instead. Which was 30 minutes in the other direction from the thirty minutes I had already driven. So it took about an hour or so of driving to finally reach this place, and to go bowling with my friend.
I am happy to report that this was another success for me. I was able to go out and be out bowling for 4 and a half hours total. Another success. I did make the terrible mistake of leaving my bowling ball in the trunk of my car for 3 years, and found that it has a giant crack in it, and I could not use it. The only downside to this adventure. Perhaps when I start going out more often I will start bowling again, something I love, and can invest in a new ball. It’s crazy how anxiety can take so much from us.
Next weekend I will head up to the mountains for a week in the Poconos. I am very terrified about driving three hours. Being committed into driving like that is so scary for me. As there is nowhere to go once on the road like that. I have driven that far before and know I can do it. Yet, with anxiety and living with it so long, it still makes me nervous and anxious. No matter how many times I have done it. I don’t know if I will ever not feel this way about things. Even writing about it, is making me feel a little anxious. The mind is a great tool and a terrible adversary at times.
I can do this. I do not have to let anxiety control me.
Around these parts today was Valentine’s Day. So if you celebrated it, Happy Valentine’s day… Or for me it was Singles Awareness Day. I celebrated it by taking myself to see Deadpool in the theaters. I’m not embarrassed to say I took myself there. One day perhaps I will take someone with me on a date. One step at a time. Baby steps. Oh, I also survived the movie.