Yesterday morning/afternoon was a day that came out of nowhere for me. It was not something I was planning nor was it something I was expecting. It was supposed to be a typical morning. I would go to work, do my job, and then do the engagement I had planned that night. Then everything changed when I got a call from a co-worker that needed my help, and that help was to pick him up, and take him to get a spare vehicle. His work vehicle was done and needed repairs. He’s not really the local tech, he’s about an hour away. And where he needed to go was even further away than that. While my first thoughts were to not do it, not because of fear, but because of laziness I decided to do it, after I asked why he didn’t call more local techs to help him than I was. Apparently my boss said for me to do that. I will have to thank him for volunteering my servitude to someone else.
So I went out to go help him out, and take him around the world in state. It was, more than I thought it would be, a fun little road trip instead of working. And who doesn’t like a good break from working? Especially on a Monday. We had the most wild conversation, we talked about anything and everything. From current politics, the nightmare that is in this country, to religion, and even UFO’s aliens. Nothing was off limits, and I had a great afternoon. With no fear, or anxiety, or even trepidation. I was not “off” or even feeling sick, and in the bathroom. How my life has changed so much, and for the better.
That would not be the end of it, as I would go out to an event I had in the meditation center I attend, which was jam packed with 20 people in it. Most of them, I did not know, and there was a couple I did know. Those people I did know, we went out afterwards to have some tea, and some good conversation together. Setting up some more events to participate at. Which I am looking forward to. I never really thought about it how important interacting with others is, and enjoying that time together, bonding like that. I spent so much time, and energy trying to survive each and every day, and being alone from people, that I did not realize how important it is, and fun it is, to interact with others, and build that type of relationship/friendships with these people. Not only that, I am creating memories that will last me a lifetime.
For so long I was surviving life, that I was not living life. For many of us that have anxiety, or panic attacks/depression, we end up missing out so much on life, and living, that we are just barely getting by. It is an incredible change of pace to be doing more with life than just existing. I had been just existing for so long, that place is a dark and depressing existence. I am glad to see the light. It is beautiful and magical. I can not wait to see where it will take me and what tomorrow will bring. For once. I do not have to be afraid of tomorrow. Afraid that something may come up out of nowhere, like taking a co-worker around the state. Afraid of what may happen. I’m alive now. I am living. I am ready for what the world will bring to me. I look forward to it. Above all else. I am happy. I truly am.