Being who you choose to be. 

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Look at that. This is my third blog post this week. In bowling they would call that a Turkey. Gobble gobble… Hmm. I think I made that joke before. Poor form chap. 50 points from Gryffindor. And 25 from Slytherin, just because. 

Being true to you. Is something I have struggled with for some time in my life. More aptly being who I choose to be. For so long I was always trying to be who I thought I should be or who others said I should be, or even tried to be who they wanted me to be. Sadly that is how life becomes for us. We lose who we are. We lose sight of what we wanted to do or be in life and we just life an empty shell of existence trying to please everyone else except our selves. Why is it so hard to do something for ourselves? Why is it we would rather put others needs over our own? Do we find it selfish to take care of us? I think for many of us we do think it would be selfish to give ourselves some attention. What I do know is not being true to us robs us of some of our happiness. 

That was true for me. I had spent so long trying to be someone I wasn’t that I stopped being who I was and was miserable the whole time. Even worse you start to hate those who changed you and deep down that hate ends up getting turned on us. We start to hate us and who we become. 

It was not until I started to embrace myself and what I loved and enjoyed did I start to find that happiness within myself. It was not easy to embrace myself. As I had lived so long in that fear of being me that I was afraid of being rejected or ridiculed for my beliefs, or because I have more shirts with nerdy graphics on them, like Transformers or duck tales, than shirts that are plain. We spend so much time trying to conform and fit in that we are willing to give up ourselves and our identities in the process. 

It can be scary being true to us in a society that wants us to conform. Where it wants us to be who they think we should be regardless of what we want to be. After all how many work in a job or field they do not truly want to be in? I know I have. It can be scary going against the grain so to speak. Standing up for yourself and speaking ones own truth. I struggled with that a few times with this blog and wondering what I should post about. Should I not mention that I took Reiki sessions, or that I do Oracle card readings for others, and am apparently pretty good at it. Then I realize st the end of the day. The only person I have to please the most and live with, is myself. I have to live with my decisions and actions. It is me that stares back when I look into the mirror and it is my life. I choose to be happy now. I choose to life my own life. The one I can look back in fondly and smile. 

Who knows it may catch on and others may too choose to live their own lives for a change. 

Perhaps if we all took that time to be who we choose to, we may love ourselves a little bit more. Perhaps if we loved ourselves fully we would be nicer to others and not lash out at them. Can we hurt another if we truly loved ourselves? If you are fully of love how can you purposely attack another? Perhaps if we loved ourselves we would stop the bullying and mean behavior towards another. Perhaps life would be all the sweeter if we lived that way. 

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