Month: December 2016

Adventures in going out: Week 44.

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2017_sweep

The Dukes of Hazard edition.

This weeks adventure has been brought to you by the letter J, and the number 6. This week marked the last week of adventuring of 2016. It’s here, it’s finally here. The last day of the year. Hip Hip, Hooray!

This week was a rough week for me as I was plagued with depression for the first half of the week. As such I was not motivated to do much. So I stayed in my sweatpants and stayed inside playing some Titanfall 2. I’m not normally a FPS fan, but this game was really well done. It was an emotional roller coaster all the way through. I have not ventured into multiplayer as I am not really a multiplayer fan. My gaming of choice is RPG, like some Elder Scrolls, or Diablo 3. I do like a good action/platformer, I loved the Uncharted Franchise. The fourth one was phenomenal, and really finish the story of Drake well. I also enjoyed the original Assassin’s Creed. I love a game, or movie, that can weave it’s story and plot through actual events to make them seem plausible. Like Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Slayer. Of course I really only played the first two AC games, I loved Altair Ibn-La’Ahad, shame he only appears in the one game. The second one was not bad, but felt they become more about puzzle solving and not about the action/adventure of it all. So really stopped playing after that one. I was not really that concerned about building my town, and collecting followers.

Assassin’s creed brings us to this week’s adventure as there is now an Assassin’s Creed movie, that of course, I had to go see it. This movie followed the exploits of a whole new person, and was not connected to characters from the franchise. Overall I thought the movie was done really good as a little action/adventure flick. Now it is based on a video game series which I am familiar with, so have some back story to it. However you don’t need to have played the games to understand what is going on in the movie, and the concept of it. It does a good job using key elements from the games and weaves them wonderfully throughout the movie. I was surprised to see such a star studded cast besides Michael Fassbender, there was Jeremy Irons, and Marion Cottilard. The one thing that could have made this movie better was better character development, to really know the characters more. I would give it three out of five stars.

Later on in the week I would take myself out to the movies again and this time see Sing, by Illumination Entertainment. That also was a pretty good movie. If you are looking for a family movie to go and see right now, take them to see the movie Sing. It is well animated and pretty funny at times, and has a huge cast of people voicing characters. From Seth McFarlane to Scarlett Johansson. Ilumination Entertainment, the group most known for their Minion characters, have been pretty impressive in their other characters as well. Secret Life of Pets, one of their movies, was a good flick as well. However I will say they do not have the character development, story telling, that Pixar has. The range of emotions that Pixar can show in a movie, and sometimes not even using words, case in point the opening of UP. That’s not counting the Cars franchise. I do not know how that one keeps going, and do we really need a Third cars? Overall I would give Sing three out of four stars.

That was it for this week as I relaxed, and enjoyed my vacation, and get ready for the new year. As I set my intentions and goals that I hope to achieve within the new year. I even did my customary tarot reading for myself on what the year will bring. The last two years readings have been spot on in what has panned out. So this year will be another interesting one. I will go deeper into my healing of myself, taking down more walls. As I become more confident, and open, and receptive in the new year. I look to make this year even more better than 2016. Thank you for checking out the blog, liking page, or the Facebook page.

And now I am off to count down the last hours of the year, and wait until the ball drops at midnight. It’s like puberty all over again.

See you in the new year. Hopefully my jokes get better by then. Doubt it.

 

 

2016: End of year review.

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Wow! It’s hard to believe that 2016 is coming to a close already. No matter how many times I say that I can not wrap my head around that. Much like trying to wrap my head around the notion that Donald Trump will be the next president of the United States. If anything he shows us that you can have any job in the world whether or not you are qualified to have it. So starting next year I will be performing brain surgeries out the back of my truck. That way you can save money on not needing to go to the emergency room. It’s a win-win for both of us. Anyways…

This year has been an incredible year for me personally. The year started off with me making a quest out to the Lonely Mountain, Erebor, to reclaim my homeland… OK, that may or may not have been the plot to the Hobbit.. Or was the Hobbit a true story? I’ll never tell.  This year would be a major change to my way of living and being. At the mid point of 2015 I decided to clean up my life and the way I was not living a life, and make major changes in my life. I had a goal of where I wanted to go in life, and what I wanted out of it, and I set out to reach that goal. I had absolutely no idea how to do it, or even get there. Frankly it was scary thinking of change like that but I knew deep within myself that I needed it. I had to change. I could no longer live the way I was living. For it was killing me, slowly. I was destroying myself. From the inside out. I was 35 and I needed something more to my life. My life had to be more than just existing, and surviving each day. So I set out to make something of myself. I grabbed a pocket full of crystals for my chakras, and a good grounding crystal, for fear, and set out to change my world. Next did I think I would be where I am today.

So it 2016, I had the crazy notion that I would keep building on that and go the distance. I had it in my head that I would take a vacation. The first vacation in about 11 years to be exact. My vacations up until that point had been all staycations, and this time, I thought, let’s go someplace fun. 10 years ago I would have thought I had lost my marbles, thinking such a thought. The last vacation I took with my family was not a happy experience for me.  I had so much anxiety, and panic, that I was miserable the whole time and vowed to never take a vacation again. I did not want to go through THAT again.

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Yet, I would not let that guy be me, and let myself deter myself from reaching that goal. So I put it in motion to go forward and take that vacation. I knew it was a huge step, and that I could not just jump out there and go. I would have ran away. I had to start slow and build up to it. So  I planned two vacations for myself in one year. Say what?! I know, crazy. From no vacations to two vacations. I planned a smaller vacation, with a friend, to the Pocono’s, to hang out and tour the sights. His family have a place up there which meant we had a place to stay at and did not have to pay to stay for the week. Score. So come February I headed out on vacation for the first time in a decade. I had to drive myself up there, alone, as that was much easier for me. I don’t like to have people in my car when I get all anxious and not feeling well. Yet while we were up there I was the main driver, and drove my friend around all week. So I was literally knocking two fears off the bucket list. And then I went out and bought a bucket to make a list. Found out, that’s not how you make a bucket list at all.

After the success of the vacation I was on a literal emotional high for the first time in a long, long time. That I was not going to just stop there. I still had another vacation to go and to get there it would take some work. So to speak. So I set out on a weekly adventure. Taking myself out one place a week, every week, for a year. I am now in the 40th week of it. Getting close to the year mark. So exciting for that. I thought at the time that going out once a week would be way too much. Yet now it’s common for me to go out three to four times a week. At first I started out slow. I took myself hiking in the woods. And thankfully I did not get lost out there. That did almost happen and I was very scary. Thank God for GPS. The places and the distances varied. From local, to all the way in the next state over. To all the way a few states over. From only a few hours to being out all night/day long. I started just taking myself places. I was OK with that it was easy on me. I never expected that I would meet like minded people and we would become friends and go the the dinner every other week or so. Life is amazing and it can truly surprise you if you let it.

I would then start taking development classes and workshops as I had plans for what I wanted out of life. And have been working to reach that goal. And in the process I’ve met so many incredible and talented people who have believed in me, encouraged me, and saw something within me, that not even I saw. They have all changed my life in so many ways. They even encouraged me to start doing Oracle Card readings in public for people and now next year, I will have my first own table at a spiritual expo. I look forward to that and hope to have more tables than that one. Not bad for a person who used to be afraid of seeing his own shadow, cause that meant he was outside, and outside was scary. Now I interact with people and have talked to, and met so many wonderful people. Wait, I already said that. Is this like deja vu? Or deja moo? Return of the cow?

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Bet you weren’t expecting to see a cow here. You were mooo-staken.

Each of those weekly adventures really, really, helped me reach that goal of taking my first real vacation in over a decade. And I had a blast doing it. Visiting Washington D.C. and seeing the Smithsonian. So many firsts were accomplished. I did it all on my own. Had no one else do it for me. Which was a first for me. It was nice to take charge like that. I even rode the metro all by myself. Still think it’s unnatural taking such a fast moving train. I even spent the whole day down there with a friend and saw the White House. There was so much to see down there that it was impossible to see it all at once. Which just means I will be able to get down there again.

This year even saw my go deeper into my healing sessions and get a Reiki session on myself, get myself a tune-up attunement, and attend some crystal bowl healing sessions. They have all been incredible and priceless to my healing. (If you get the chance to do a Reiki session or crystal bowl. Try them out.) Helping me release and let go of so much. Allowing me to open back up to things I have been so closed down to over the years. Allowing me to feel and experience so much more in my life. Loving the energy work that I even did a Reiki session on a friend of mine, and may even do some more in the coming year. I have taken many other workshops, and classes, over the year. Learning and growing, developing and bettering myself. And plan to take even more classes in the coming year. There are a few in January I am looking forward to. I may even take another vacation in the New Year as well.

I still have much to see and do in the coming year(s). I have changed so much in my life for the better. And I plan to keep on changing and growing and bettering myself. I took a huge first step in changing my life. Changing me. I am doing things I never thought I would or could. Yet I have and lived through them all. I know now that there is so much more to life and living and I plan to live my life better and more. I am hopeful for my future to see myself do even more. To change more of my life. To take myself out of a job that I no longer enjoy or love doing to something I love and enjoy going to work. So when I am on vacation again I don’t dread going back to work. I deserve that. We all do. I know now that I am worthy of good things. In the New Year I plan to continue to build this blog up to more and more. My journey has been an incredible one and I enjoy sharing it with everyone. I will look forward to reaching the year mark on my weekly adventures and can’t wait to see where my adventures take me after that. This is only the beginning of my story. Why not start your own adventure in 2017?

Picking yourself back up…

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This week is the last week of 2016, as crazy as that is. This year has gone by so incredibly fast. The holidays were here and gone before I could even blink. This year has not been an easy one for many people. It’s also seen us in the US starting to be more divided than ever. We’ve also lost some good celebrities this year, just recently with Carrie Fisher, everyone’s favorite princess, and then her mother Debbie Reynolds a few days later. I can not imagine what that family is going through at this time. So for many they are hoping 2017 will be here, NOW.

For me 2016 was not all that bad. I had many firsts this year, and met some incredible people this year. I learned much about myself and realize I have a lot of healing and self work to do on myself to reach my goals. Much of that has brought about this wonderful blog for me. That allows me to speak what is on my mind, an important thing to me, it allows me to share my experiences with others that may find themselves in the same shoes, and allows me to interact with them. Whether it’s on this blog on on the Facebook Page. This page has been both great and scary at the same time. Sharing some of my deepest thoughts and feelings. Something I have not really done in the past.

It has not been easy for me on this journey this year. There has been many, many, scary experiences of pushing myself and taking myself out there. I remember my first adventure out there, I went hiking in the woods. I was scared about it, and wanting to just not do it. That would have been the easiest route to take. Yet, it would have not yielded me much in the long run. Other than my “safety” of staying in. The first time I went out and took a development workshop, I wanted to run away from that. I was so anxious to be in a setting like that, with strangers, for 3.5 hours. Yet I pushed through it and kept moving forward and taking one of those workshops I met some incredible people that have quickly become good friends, and they helped propel me forward to meeting more and more people that have helped me on my journey.

That is what this journey has been about lately moving forward. Picking myself up and going forward. Though it is not as easy as it sounds. I’m a creature of habit and sometimes those habits are “poor” habits, and I want to just eat my stress away with foods, or run away and hide in the bed all day. I am getting better at that and making better choices in life. Luckily now when I eat my stress away, I’m eating fruits, and not candy bars.

Which brings me back around to where I was going with all of this as I seem to have gone on a tangent there, the end of the year. Yet while this incredible year for me is coming to a close I was left with feelings of sadness and depression. Things I have struggled with in the past. Of all the things I have faced over the years from panic to anxiety, depression is probably one of the worst. I would not wish it on anyone. It’s also something I don’t really talk about with anyone. My struggles and journey has always been my own so I have fought and faced many a thing on my own and have found my own strength through it all. I guess I have never been one to really share my emotions with others, have always kept them to myself. Now I am using this forum to really share what is on my mind.

Depression sucks. Point blank. If I could I would punch it right in the face, if it had a face, or if I was a violent man. Some would say, Jason, what do you have to be depressed about? You’ve lived a great year. Done things many would be jealous of. I would say, well you are right on that, but some times even those who have it all, can get depressed. Truthfully I am not even sure what exactly caused it or even why. Maybe it’s the end of the year and a reminder of where I am in life at this time. Maybe it’s because I am on vacation from work until the 5th and I realize eventually I will have to go back to work, which I do not want to. Depression is funny like that. It can come out of nowhere and for whatever reason it just sneaks up on you. Maybe it’s the new moon that is out there. Sure, let’s blame the moon. We like to blame others for what happens in our life.

Though all the ups and downs over the years I have learned many things the biggest thing I have learned was to take charge of my own life and my own happiness. I could not rely on others to do it for me, as they would not. No one else can give me my happiness. Only I could. No one was going to change my life for me. No one was going to get me to take better care of myself, make better food choices, heal myself more, and go out and enjoy life. Only I could. So much like all of that, that I have done, I realized while facing this depression I would have to do that again. Any and all changes in my life I know that I have to create them. I have to put myself in places of opportunity to change them. If I want different things in life I have to work my butt off to make them happen. 2016 has taught me that. I have to put the work in to get there. There will be many people that will be willing to lend a hand and support and help me. I’ve never been one to reach out to others but it is a great thought to know they are there and are willing to help if they can.

That is what I will be doing in 2017, busting my hump all year to make my dreams a reality. To continue moving forward with my life. To learn as much as I can to grow and better myself to keep moving. Life has and will knock me down many a time over the years. I have to continue moving forward. Continue to pick myself up over and over. If I get knocked down 9 times, I will get back up 10 times. I do not know where 2017 and life will take me. Which is scary in itself. All I can do is keep moving forward. Keep going. And not quit. There has been many a time in the past where I have wanted to do just that. Quit it all. Give it up. Give up on life. I have accomplished much and I will continue to use that momentum to keep going. It won’t be easy. But then what in life is easy? Eggs over easy maybe?

The fog of depression has lifted and cleared up for me. The sun is shining within my world again. Rainbows are out. I have a lot of work to do and continue to do. I have no idea where I am going. But I will get there. I will change my life and my self for the better. I will create a life I love and love living it. Ready or not 2017 here I come.

I will be back the end of the week with a good wrap up to 2016. I hope you have enjoyed this little article, and have enjoyed my other ones as well. I am not perfect. I am human. I have ups and downs. Now I can survive the downs much better.

Adventures in going out: Week 43

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happy-holidays
Not sure who created this photo.

The Ho Ho Ho edition.

This week has been a fun week and a tiring week all at once. This week was not a week that I did much going out all over the place. I did get the opportunity to go for dinner with a group of friends this week. When we get together it is always a fun time. The energy is just so electric when we are together that so many good times and memories are had.

Most of this week has been about shopping for the holidays. As I sit here and write this blog post on Christmas morning. I did not get the time to really write it last night as I was incredibly busy. I was hosting Christmas eve dinner for my family. So I spent the majority of the day either cooking, or cleaning up after I cooked. I make a wickedly delicious lasagna, and I don’t even get to have any. As I don’t eat those foods, they don’t agree with me. Dairy and Gluten. The holidays have always been a fun time for me, I have so many incredible memories of this time of year. The magic and the love that is within the air during this time is just so lovely. For some, it’s stress, misery, and family arguments, and spending too much money, and going into debt. For others they are saddened by the loss of their loved ones, who can not be with them on the holiday. I still remember the last Christmas we got to spend with my mom, she was sick during it, and shortly after the holiday she took a turn for the worst. And passed the second of January back in 01. We were lucky  that we got to spend one last Christmas morning with her. Of course at the time you don’t really appreciate that. We always end up taking for granted those precious  moments we have with everyone over the years. So, today tell a loved you one you love them. Be thankful for the moments and memories you get to create with them. For it’s all so finite the amount of time we have with each other on Earth.

Even with all of that, I don’t really even think of that around this time of year. I remember all the good times and memories, for those are what last with us. She loved this time of year, as do I. She spent so much time and energy cooking, and baking, and then having everyone over. And now I carry on some of that with me to this day, as I cook and bake, and have family over. Cooking the foods, and the desserts she did. Christmas eve dinner was one of my favorite times of the year. As we all got together Christmas eve, ate good food, told silly stories and jokes, and played games with each other. No matter how stressful life was, how many arguments or fights that occurred with each other, it didn’t matter that day. All that went away that day as we all came together and just had that. That was the magic of Christmas to me. The love, the giving, and the sharing that was always flowing those few days, was always incredible. The thrill of going out and finding that one perfect gift for a loved one, and the giddiness that builds inside while you wait for them to open it. That’s the hardest part for me these days waiting until I can give them my gift.

This year has been an incredible year for me and the best gift I got this year was the incredible people I have met and now have the privilege of calling friends. I never expect that with all of this, with my journey, and my travels. I set out to better myself and push my self beyond what I thought was my limits. And in the process I learned so much about myself and meet people that I am thankful for and have impacted my life in so many ways. They are the best gift I could have ever received. That to me is what these holidays are all about. It’s not the amount of money we spend on each other, or the fancy things we get, it’s about the memories, the love and joy, that we give and receive this time of year. And the ability to experience that with people that mean the most to you, and are a part of your life, makes it so much more incredible. Even if we fight with each other the rest of the year. That is something that can not be bought. It’s something that can be felt and shared freely. If we could take that love for each other and continue to hold that magic in our hearts each and every day this world would not feel so harsh and abrasive. We would know that it’s going to be alright.

So thank you all for the love, the shares, the likes, and for reading this blog over the past year. It has been a whirlwind of a year for me, and from the bottom of my heart, I thank you for it all. I truly do. No matter what holiday you celebrate, whether it’s Christmas, Yule, Hanakkah, Kwanzaa, Boxing Day, Festivus, Anyone I missed, or nothing at all, I hope your day(s) is a wonderful one, full of love, kindness, joy, and merry blessings.

 

Adventures in going out: Week 42

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The I am one with the force. The force is with me edition.

This week was quite the busy week for me. It started off with dinner, and checking out Martel’s Christmas House on Wednesday, followed by a holiday gathering with people from class, on Thursday, to my weekly adventures on Saturday. On top of getting up at 2am two nights this week. This week was action packed, and tiring, all rolled into one. And I loved every minute of it.

Check out my friend Marie Gilbert’s blog, for a lovely write up about our visit to Martel’s Christmas House. Today started out a little wet, and a little cold, as I woke up to fresh slush snow on the ground. I was not going to let that deter and stop me from getting my nerd on today. As I had already purchased my ticket to see the new Star Wars flick: Rogue One. It’s well documented around here of my nerdom and my love of all things nerdy. I am white & nerdy and proud. Of course it has taken me lots of self work and healing on myself for me to ever publicly admit such a thing as being a nerd. I used to be so reserved, so soft spoken, and shy, that I would never admit to things like that to others. I would keep it my little secret. Thanks to working with crystals, having healing sessions on myself, and connecting with Reiki, have I slowly become more confident in myself, my abilities, and what I do. I no longer need to hide who I am from others. I can speak more freely about myself and what I belief. Not worrying or concerned what others think of me. I am not perfect with that yet, but I am getting there more and more each day.

So naturally I would go and see Rogue One. There were a couple of good trailers before the movie started. I am really loving the Spider-Man homecoming trailer. Check it out if you have not seen it. Of course I am in the rare few that enjoyed The Amazing Spider-Man. I loved the wisecracking of Spider-Man in that one. Of course at times it looks like Andrew Garfield is drunk on camera, with his movements and speaking. Then they had the trailer for the new Transformers Movie: The last Knight. I am not sure about this one. Now I am a HUGE Transformers fan. In fact to this day I still watch the animated movie from the 80’s. It is my favorite movie of all time. Sadly the Michael Bay movies just did not capture the same charm and feel to me. Bay’s inability to really keep a consistent plot, or even make is scenes linear, each one, seems to contradict the previous one,  and his overuse of explosions in like every scene, just ruins it for me. Yes, we get it, you like bombs, and to put product placement all over the place. Of course I will have to see it, because it’s Transformers, but I don’t have to like it. Like when M. Knight did The Last Airbender movie. Another good cartoon ruined on the big screen. There was also the New Mummy movie, by Tom Cruise.. And well, I loved the Mummy movies with Brandon Frazier, until they replaced Rachel Weisz, because she didn’t want to come back. This one, just looks. Horrible in my opinion. More like too much special effects, and no real content. I won’t even link the trailer here you will have to check that one out on your own. Not to mention a trailer for the next Pirates of the Caribbean movie, are they even still in the Caribbean, or have they moved to somewhere else? Though I will admit the fourth movie was much better, IMO, than the third one. That one was just awful.

Now on to the movie. Rogue One being the second movie in the Disney Star Wars realm. Now The Force Awakens was a commercial success. It sold a lot of tickets, and made a lot of money. Lots of people loved it, and probably felt it wiped the prequel movies from their minds. The Force Awakens was a good movie in its own right.. But at the same time, it was not its own right to me. To me, The Force Awakens is a remake of A New Hope. It uses the same elements as A New Hope, they are all there. Just with more CGI effects, explosions, and a new cast mixed in with the old cast. Rogue One was a stand alone movie that tied into the existing universe so it had its own little world. And that really helped set it apart in its own right. The acting was done really well, something the prequel movies missed out on. Hayden, just did not have the acting chops to play such a leading role. The story was done really well, albeit it was a little slow at first, as there was so much to explain, and so many characters being introduced to us for the first time. It really picks up around the middle of the movie, and then towards the last hour, it really kicks that into high speed and has a ton of action. This movie also fills in a lot of gaps and questions you may have had for all those years, about what happened between Rise of the Sith, and A New Hope. Of course I liked The Force Unleashed, that was a book and a video game. Sure, it got a little wild and out there, but it was a fun ride. Overall it was a solid movie, and is worth seeing if you are a Star Wars fan, or just love A good science fiction movie. I’d give it a 4 out of 5 lightsabers.

After the movie I went out and did some Christmas shopping, and had a blast doing it. Shopping for young ones and family is always so much fun. Though the waiting to give them the gifts is the hardest part. Of course so many just want with cash or gift cards these days. Which is always so boring. Even my nieces that are under ten want gift cards. At that age I hated gift cards. Because that meant you had to wait until your parents took you to buy something. I always preferred to play with something right there and then.

This week was another success and was a lot of fun. Working with and connecting with Reiki energies has been really helpful and has been helping me with my own healing and growth. I look forward to where Reiki takes me, and where I go with it. While I work with them on myself and working with those energies on others as well.

 

 

A visit to Martel’s Christmas House

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Martel's Christmas House
Yesterday I had the privledge of finding myself  embarking on a mid week adventure with some friends. After the week I was having, I certainly needed it. After having to get up at 2 in the morning twice in a row for work, one being canceled from a now show, I certainly needed some fun. And boy did I get some. I almost did not make it there as you can imagine I was exhausted. Which was throwing my stomach off majorly and I just wanted to sleep. I am glad that I pushed myself forward with it. This whole journey has been about pushing myself, so I could not let myself be pushed back. I had to keep going, and boy was it worth it. It’s crazy to imagine how two years ago I would have allowed myself to be pushed over, and ran away from this. It’s nice to have stood my ground and went to this.


The night started out in Mastori’s diner in bordentown, where we all Meetup, had dinner, and enjoyed some laughs. There were many, many laughs had. When we are all together that is just what happens. Being around people like that, really bring out the best in you. We just raise up each other, and increase our vibrations from the fun we have. I truly think that is what helped me get through the night, when my stomach was off, and I was tired. It was so much fun with each other, that the energy we had, was so light, it radiated this warm healing energy, that just helped me feel better last night. When I got there, I was a little rough around the edges, but being around these wonderful people really helped me. I am thankful for that and staying when I was almost going to leave.

And then after dinner, we all headed over to Martel’s Christmas House, to look at and enjoy some Christmas decorations and lights. Only one of has had been there before and knew what it was about, the rest of us, had no idea. I don’t think we could have even imagined what this place would be like. It was incredible it truly was. There were so many decorations, and ornaments, and lights, it was truly breathtaking. What breath was left anyways as it was cold out there. From what I learned about this place is that there people run it, a family I believe. They start in September and just set it all up. I can not imagine the amount of man hours it would take to do something like this. They are truly dedicated to their craft.


We had a lot of fun walking around, laughing, enjoying each other’s company, and enjoying the festive lights. I am glad that I stuck with it and enjoyed a wonderful night out with friends. Something I truly needed it.

I feel much better today, happy again, and feeling light. I am continuing to work with and connect with Reiki and that is creating a wonderful sense of wholeness and health within me. As I work with those energies more, I will talk about my experiences in a later post. It was a fun night and tonight I will see some of them again for a holiday Meetup. This week started off rough and is getting much better. Then the week will end with the new Star Wars movie Rogue One.

Defeating ourselves before we try.

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This week has been a “fun” week and I use that term sarcastically if you could not tell. More accurately this has been a tiring week, as well, as a week that had some anxiety to it. This week would see my piloting a new server for work, a job I have been doing for 17 years now. Thank you, I don’t look old enough to have had my job for 17 years. That’s sweet of you to say. 

Yet despite all of that doing things like this have a tendency to just, create some anxious thoughts in my head. Ooooh that brain of ours. Where my head got it into itself that I could not do this project, I would not be good enough at it, I could screw it up, and so forth and so forth. You would think with all those years of experience my brain would see this as another day in the park so to speak. Yet that was not the case this week, as it normally isn’t doing things like this at work. 

That gets me to thinking, what is it, that we fear with things like this? Is it fear of the unknown? Fear of change, and uncertainty that we just can not foresee? Those same fears going to the dentist when we haven’t been there for a long time, stir up within us. Yet each time we survive it, and it’s usually not as scary or bad as we envision it. We know this going in. We know that within a few hours time we will be home and laughing about it, about how easy it ended up being. Yet somehow that fear still stalks us when it comes to something new for us. 

So what does one do when faced with such things in their life. Usually we first think, if I quit my job right now, could I survive without it? Maybe that’s just me? LOL. Many cases we do want to just run away from it and not do it. If we could get away with that. We would certainly take that option more times than not. It’s the “safer” option in our minds. Of course that option prevents us from living our lives. We then let fear consume us and we hide away from it and life. Not living. Just existing. That is not a fun way to live. 

There are other options we can do. Such as planning it out in our heads. Any contingencies we need to perform if need be. That can help. For me, I went in the day before, and installed the piece in place. Since I had no idea what it would be like, I was able to take my time with it before hand and get a feel for it. That actually helped a lot with this. Cutting down on some of the uncertainty involved. 

Other things I did that helped me, was before I left for this, which happened to be 3am, I did some grounding exercises. Grounding as been something I have been making a habit to do more frequently. Grounding helps to keep one centered within themselves, and with the earth. When we are feeling anxious we can not be grounded and can be too much in our heads. Grounding helps us get back down into ourselves, more sturdy, and rooted. Once one is grounding one can take their anxious thoughts, and feeling, and allow them to go out of you, out of your roots you create in grounding, and let it go back into the earth. Believe it or not, that does actually help. The other thing I did, was go connect to Reiki energy. Bringing that healing energy into my body, to charge and being healing within me. Creating a state of harmony and bliss. That worked pretty well and helped me be more calm, more centered, and more serene. 

There are, I am sure, many other things to do. Such as proper deep breathing. This is what I did and it worked surprisingly well for myself today. I was very calm, and confident in myself and my abilities and was able to do what I needed to without being consumed by fear and anxiety. I am thankful for Reiki today. I am still a work in progress but I am getting the tools and the help I need to live a better life. Each day I grow stronger and healthier.