If you were to have told me a two ago that one day I would have had my own table at a public event doing something, I would not have believed you. I would have thought you fell and bumped your head and was talking nonsense. If you were to have told me that I was going to be doing Angel Card readings for people I would have thought you lost your mind. Yet yesterday I did just that and it was no April Fools joke. It was real and it was spectacular.
Yesterday my friends at On Angel’s Wings was doing their first expo, and I somehow got it in my head that it would be a good idea for me to be a part of this event. At first I was not sure on what I was going to do. I have plans to do more Reiki energy healing this year so I was debating about having my table there doing mini readings, but settled on doing Angel Card readings instead. The Expo was being held at the Lyceum in Burlington, NJ. It was a lovely little building with a nice little energy to it for this first time event.
I will be honest and say that I was very nervous about doing this event and wanting to just back out of it. In truth I wanted to get to my car and just keep driving to Canada. Starting a new life of a Canadian lumberjack, being paid in Maple Syrup and Jelly Doughnuts. In the past the fear would have been that my anxiety would get the better of me, or my stomach would run amok and take me with it. Especially since the event hours were 11-6. 7 hours of being in one place would have been enough to send me to the bathroom having panic attacks, yet that was not what I was nervous about. My fear was that I would not be able to do the readings for people, I would get nothing, and not be able to do it. Making myself look bad and the people who host the event look bad. It’s amazing the fears that can run through our brains, more so, when you have struggled with anxiety your whole life.
Luckily my friends there could see that my energy was feeling a little frantic, and came over and comforted me and told me that I could do it, and two of my friends allowed me to do two quick little readings before the event started to calm my nerves and help me get in the zone. That really helped. My friends that I have met through this journey have literally been a godsend through all of this. Being their for support, love, and comfort. Without them I would not be where I am. Those two little readings really helped take the edge off, and helped me start to get into the zone. For when people really started to pile in and I started to do the readings and really get going.
Once again like it always is with my anxiety/panic that once it really happens it is never like it is in my head. Much like going to the dentists office. I was able to do 11 readings throughout the entire time I was there. I was calm, and relaxed, and really in the zone with it all. I met lots of new people, and had lovely conversations with people. Without a single freak out or panic/anxiety attack. I think I even got a lifelong friend of mine to really believe in what I do and am able to do. So that was a nice little added surprise to it all. I am very fortunate for this wild and crazy journey I have been on. There have been many, many low times, and now there are some incredible high times. I am thankful for it all. They have taught me so much about life and living and have given me so much in life. I would not be who I am today without them. This was an incredible step for me to go out and do an event all day. I was there from 9am until 7 Pm. 10 hours at one place. I would never have dreamed in my wildest dreams that I could ever do something like this. Yet I did it. I survive, and dare I say, I had an incredible time doing it.
I am not doing something I love, and sharing it with others, and loving every moment of it. One day perhaps I will do a talk about my journey and how I got here and share it with others so they too can live the life they want and deserve. If I can do it. Anyone can. My next event I will be doing will be in May, where I will be doing mini Reiki sessions. I look forward to that one and where the future will take me. During the event yesterday I was able to get a Tarot reading for myself, and she said this stuff that I am doing, will really take off for me. So I am looking forward to that and a very blessed future.