This year has been flying by so fast. It’s hard to believe that it is the middle or April already. While the time is flying by, I have not been flying by. I have been pretty silent these past few months. Taking time to myself. Recouping. Growing and learning. 2017 had many, many ups. But it also had things that came crashing down for me. Things did not go the way I thought they should, or hoped. That in itself is a major life lesson. Things don’t always go to plan. Things don’t always go the way you want them to, or think they should. That can be such a hard pill to swallow, but so much peace can come from letting go. Not expecting, and just enjoying. Every moment for what it is. On top of that I had to deal with some health changes within me that caused me to just veg out and just do nothing really.
Now I am starting to slowly return to a normalcy of things. I am starting to get back into the groove of things, and am starting to move again. And it feels great to be up and about and enjoying life again. The other weekend I got out and enjoyed some of the warmer weather and went to Red Bank battlefield, and then to the lake for a little bit. To walk around. Enjoy the sun. And just let loose.
It was good to be back in the saddle after so long. Until this past weekend when I ended up really going out there. Earlier in the morning I was set for doing card readings at a Psychic Event in Deptford from 11Am until 4am. It had really been my first event like that this year. Last year around this time I did my first ever expo, so it was nice to be out there again a year later. Of course since it had been so long I was a little nervous going into it. I met a bunch of great people, and talked to some other vendors. All and all it was a good day.
That in itself would have been enough but I decided afterward to go visit some friends who were doing an event themselves up 40 minutes away from where I was. And go to not one, but two events in one day. Hang around with them for an hour and a half, talking catching up, and just having some fun. Before heading out with them go to a diner. For even more laughs and fun. It’s always a great time when we get out and have fun together. The whole day of being out was 12 hours. I have not been out like that, in a long, long time. Probably in over a year. It was nice to really be out there, and push my bounds and limits. It was a tiring day, but so, so worth it. It’s hard to believe how not five years ago I would never have dreamed of doing such a thing. Going to one event would have been stressful and my anxiety would have been through the roof. I would have been stressed the whole week leading up to it. The morning of, and the drive to it would have been the longest drive ever. While I was a little anxious to be doing readings again, being out wasn’t scary to me. I even had a little bit of food before heading down there. Then to decide on a whim to go from one event to another, followed by going out to eat, would have done me in. Yet I got to go out, enjoy myself, and spend some fun time with friends, making memories that will last for years to come. Friends I made all because I took myself out there and go out and explored and had fun.
For me the bulk of my anxiety always revolved around my health and the way I processed foods. My body does not do so well with certain fruits/veggies/breads/grains. Which caused me to have so much stress in my body. In turn triggering so much anxiety/panic within me. Causing me to live a life of seclusion and isolation and agoraphobic at times. Always afraid of my next attack. Always afraid things would be the same. One I was finally able to get a handle of my body through proper diet I was able to really start to make a difference in my life and really work on the anxiety I was facing and dealing with. I have witnessed what healing can do and how working on anxiety/panic is something that can be worked on. How life can be lived and how we can get our life back. I am living proof. I never thought I’d ever see a day like yesterday in my life. Honestly I spent my whole life thinking I didn’t need days like that. I could just stay inside and avoid life, and I would be OK with that. Don’t get me wrong, I love to unwind and just lounge around playing video games and watching movies. As a highly sensitive soul, and empath, I need to be alone at times to recover and ground. But being out there. Having fun. Enjoying life, and just not worrying about what will happen. Or having to sweat the anxiety and be afraid is so much more than I ever knew. There is nothing like it really. It’s exciting. It’s liberating and it’s a blast.
I truly hope that everyone that has faced anxiety/depression/loneliness is able to one day be able to get out there and just live. I know what it is like first hand. And it sucks. We learn to cope with it, and deal with not living because it is our way of life. Yet it’s not living in many cases. We all deserve to live. We all deserve happiness and joy in our lives. If we did the world would be so much more of a better place for us all. We’d be happy in life. We’d smile more. We wouldn’t bully each other to the point where kids are now taking their own lives to end the pain. We’d have no reason to treat each other that way. It wouldn’t be in us anymore. The world would start to react to it and much could change.
I may be but a dreamer but I will never give up hope that we can all have joy and happiness in our lives. And live a life we love.
I hope to be out doing even more this year. I have plans to do more intuitive readings next month at an event with friends. I hope to be able to do even more events with readings. So look out for them in the future. You may just run into me out there. Well, hopefully not into me. More like around me. We can high-five like we’ve been friends for ever.
I even got some nice new raw Amazonite. I am a sucker for crystals.