Growing up cartoons were always my escape. When anxiety was rough, or the world was tough, I turned to cartoons and animation. They got my through so many of my rough times as a child and adult really. I’ve always connected with them and I’ve always loved to draw.
So I thought to myself “why don’t you use art as a form of expressing how I feel?” This blog has been so therapeutic for me it’s been such an outlet to allow me to vent what I am feeling. And to share with others who have been through or are going through the same thing. I have met so many like minded people and they have shared so many stories as I have.
So now I am using my art to express how I am feeling and what I go through and have gone through. As another outlet and form of expression.
First up, is a dealing with the anxieties I face from time to time when I meet a new person. When I go out with them to like a diner or public place. These are the internal thoughts I struggle with doing such a simple thing. “What if I have an attack right now? What will they think of me?” These are thought that have plagued me in the past and do still affect me from time to time today. Especially if we are planning something for a window of time. Like a few hours. It becomes more anxious if the thing we are doing, locks me into doing it, or being somewhere. Such as I don’t have a choice because it’s a function I have to be at, like a work meeting.
It’s also why I prefer to drive alone so if I do ever have an attack no one can ever see it. Or think less of me. The anxious mind can be a terrible, terrible scary place. Even though the scariest thoughts are the ones we are creating ourselves. And when you are in a car down the highway with someone there really isn’t anywhere to go to “escape.” Jumping out of a moving vehicle is usually frowned upon in most places.
So sit back, while I illustrate some of the challenges I’ve struggled with over the years, to allow me to get some of the thoughts out of my head. It’s also been a dream of mine to illustrate a children’s book and perhaps all this writing and drawing will help being a dream to reality.