Living with depression

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It’s been about two months since I’ve written anything on this blog, not that I have not done anything in that time. Just have not written anything. If you’re not aware the Facebook page is constantly active. Where I am doing Angel card readings, occasional live FB video, and much more. So give it a like/follow if you’d like to stay on top of things.

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Trailblazing your life

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It’s been quite a time since I’ve written anything. Yet, my life has been a constant influx of things left and right. As I take myself out further than I could ever imagine. This year has been extremely busy for myself. I have been all over the place. Going here and there. It’s  been so busy the year has just blown right on past me. I can hardly believe that the year is winding down already. It seems like the year just started the other day. Yet it’s almost December.

I had no idea where this year was going to take me. I just played it by year and let it take me to where it wanted to take me. And boy, did it take me places. There was so many first in this year. I attend many events and workshops this year. Things I would never have dreamed of attending before. Yet, I did so many, I can’t even keep count of them all. The most surprising of them all is at many of those events I had a table doing card readings for people. Something I never thought I would ever have the courage do to in front of people. Yet this year I did, and many of them I did.

This year has been all about going beyond my limits and trailblazing a life of my dreams. I took the hold of the reigns of my life and just took a ride through the wilds, and held on, and let the sled take me. I think I may have watched Rise of the Guardians one too many times there. Everyone loves the sleigh. For so long I spent my life thinking I couldn’t do this or I couldn’t go there. It was scary and so liberating to prove myself wrong. On what I could and couldn’t do. I tried. I pushed. I struggled at times. I got scared and wanted to quit. But that would have been too easy. I pushed even more. I pushed myself because I knew I could do it. I could step up and take charge so to speak. Living with anxiety for so long, I knew how easy it would be to just run away. To give into fear. To shut down. I knew to do so. Would open that door again. That door out of doing anything. That was not the world I was going back to. That was not the life I was going to live anymore.

I decided to blaze trails I had never blazed before. Do things I never thought I could. Things I didn’t think I was good enough to do. Yet I saw the only one that said I couldn’t, was me. This year saw my getting my own tables at events. As well as sharing tables with a good friend(s). This year has saw me step out of my comfort zone and onto a screen so to speak, and do FB live video in front of many people, where I do love angel card readings for people. Which has now become an every other week thing. I have stepped out even further and this weekend I gave a talk in front of people, about the healing powers of crystals, and connecting with the Angels.  I would never have thought of doing such a thing. Not because of a fear of public speaking. Just a fear of myself and being good enough to do that. Yet, I pushed through that fear. Even though I wanted to run away and not even attend that event. Yet I went, and did the talk, and people enjoyed that, and would love to see more in the talk. Which now opens more doors for me to doing a longer talk. All because I chose to live the life I choose to live. I choose to blaze my own life. To whatever I wanted to do. And it has been an incredible journey to so many new things and people.

I look forward to where life can take me. What I can do next. Because so many doors are finally opening for me, and it feels incredible. I will be giving that talk again next month, and this time, I will be more at ease at it, and I will have much more to say. Because there is much for me to say and share. And I look forward to doing so.

If you have not seen the FB page, you can check it out, and see past videos, as well as upcoming events I will be at.

In the USA this week is Thanksgiving, and I have so much to be thankful for. This has been an incredible year for me. I plan to make next year even more so.

Adventures in going out: Week 37

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The Burger Time edition.

Today marks the first time since starting my weekly adventures that I am writing about it the next week, on a Sunday. And it’s for a great reason. As yesterday’s adventures was pretty much all day. From 10 am, and ending at 10 Pm. I would not have ever thought I’d see something like that. What makes it even more incredible is that all of the things I did, involved other people. Most of my journeys in the start had been solo journeys, and lately many of them became group events. I am so thankful for this journey.

This weeks’ journey started on Wednesday where I went to a meetup with people from one of my classes. We had wonderful conversations, much of our talk of course, was the elections. So there was certainly a lot of heated energy with that one.

Then on Friday and Saturday I would attend an Archangel Gabriel workshop. Gabriel has been one of the Archangels that has played such a prominent role in my journey. And the way this all came together was incredible. Of course it was on 11-11 as well. So there was those energetic energies, on top of the approaching full moon, the largest full moon in like decades. Can’t wait to see that and get some pics. I have always loved the moon. And of course, Archangel Gabriel is the angel of the moon. No coincidences, right? The workshops were incredible, a night and a day, of some crystal bowls, great people, and a wonderful atmosphere. It’s amazing to see how far my journey has taken  me and how far I have come with it. How much these people have impacted me and have shown me and helped me much.

After my workshop me and some friends, went to go check out Batsto Cemetery. That was an interesting experience. They tell me it was very, very active. I put up a lot of shields going out there. I guess it was the first reaction to such a thing. And those shields really worked, and really kept me safe. So much so that someone that was there with me could feel the shields. It’s always good to be able to have that validation that something is working like that. Of course with all that shielding I was not able to pick up anything really. The people I was with was using a spirit box, and it was able to pick up a few things, which was neat to witness. I’ve never really seen any of the equipment up close like that. So that was nice. After that we went to check out a another place that has spirit activity. Then we called it a night. It was a great night. I went completely out of my comfort zone, for the entire day. Even more incredible was that I had a passenger in my car the whole time. I don’t usually do that. I am very picky about people being in my car and to let my guard down enough, to relax enough, to allow another into my personal space, was great for me. It was something I really needed to remind me of all the fun that can be had within the world when I am not shutting it all down. So this week’s journey was huge for me in so many ways. It gives me hope in what I can do in my life.


Love will win in the end. 

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Rose Quartz
The world is coming to terms with the election that just happened in the US yesterday and there is a lot of emotions being felt right now by everyone. I’ve not really made political posts on this blog so will not really go into it too much but felt compelled to still say something. As one that is sensitive to energies and the world around me, I could feel the energies in the air yesterday. I could feel that change is coming. Yet at the same time, there was a strong somber feel to the energies as well. As if this was the calm before the storm. 

With the results yesterday I still feel this change and this shift will still occur. 

The shift and change has not stopped. It is happening regardless of who would win. That much has been made clear. The results of election and the people running were the choices that the people made to bring about. Now we see the repercussions of our choices and our actions and we now know that we can do better. We can create better. We must thank the universe for the opportunity to grow and better ourselves and allow ourselves to truly be the change we want in the world. 

We must no longer be asleep and must now be the change and take actions in our lives and the world at large. 

It may seem hopeless right now, that fear, hate, and panic has won. There is still hope for this is a new beginning of change. We know what we want out of life. We know we can do better. We must not just roll over in defeat and give up. We have come so far. We must continue moving forward. Getting involved, speaking up, and spreading love and compassion. Change can and will happen. Thank the universe for this opportunity to learn and grow. We will rise from the ashes and be stronger and better than ever before.

We will be a better people. We will see and know we are all together on this journey. We are all one with each other. 

It’s not the end. It’s a new beginning. 


The courage to face a new adventure.

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This weekend was a blast for me. I had a lot of fun. Yet, at the same time, I had thought it would be a scary weekend for me. As I was going to go out of my comfort zone. Big time. Yet, I realized and found out, it was scarier in my head, than it actual was. Much like a trip to the dentists office… But I am getting ahead of myself let me back up some.

This weekend I was asked to participate in a fundraiser for a friends, friend, that is facing an illness, and they asked me if I would be willing to do angel card readings at it. Instinctively I had to say yes. I knew deep down it would be a good opportunity for me to develop and push myself into new places. It is also something I enjoy doing. Of course as the day drew closer and closer, that ego started to come into play, telling me I would not be good enough. I could not do this, and I can’t do this. That guy is quite the brat. Some says I would like to just give him a wedgie, and call him a jerk to his face. Cause he is a jerk, always picking on me. Trying to keep me down. As the days grew closer to this event, I could see how easy it would have been. To just back out. Feign a sickness, run away to Canada. Whatever it would have taken. Now looking back at this I see what would that have accomplished? It would have given me an out, and then that out would have turned into another out at another time, and another time. Eventually that out would become the norm, and I would never do anything. And that smug little jerk would win. Then he would gloat, and have that stupid grin on his face, and say, “victory is mine.” Like he was Stewie Griffin. I was not gonna let this jerk win, I was not going to let him beat me.

Jack Canfield has a great quote, “everything you want is on the other side of fear.” That was my mantra going into this event, as it was so true. The things we want out of life, and what I wanted out of life, was on the other side of fear. I knew, deep within myself, that I needed to work through this fear. I could not let it overpower me, and cause me to run away. Not anymore. I lived my whole life doing that. I was not going to now. Not ever again if I can. I took some deep breaths, and did a quick grounding meditation. Grounded myself to the earth. Grounded myself to my own power. Let all that fear, anxiety, worry, negative talk, go. Let it all go out of me, into my roots I had created through grounding, and into the earth to be transmuted into positive energies. That helped me more than I thought it would. Within minutes I was feeling calm. Relaxed, and ready to face this new adventure. I was ready for this. I let go wondering and worrying about how it would go, and if I could do it. I was free of those thoughts, and I was present. So much so I was able to help my friend who was also doing angel card readings that day relax and know they could do it as well. Positivity spreads and really brings hope to others.

The event was incredible, the energy, the atmosphere, the turnout was great to see. I was able to do those card readings, without fear, and worry, and was able to do well with them. From what I was told from people afterwards. To see the expressions on the peoples faces that I was reading, reminded me, how I love doing what I am doing. Connecting with people like that. Doing those angel card readings. It was such a positive and loving experience for me to finally be doing something I love. Words can not truly express the feelings I felt then and now. To finally be on this path. To finally be moving. To creating so many new and wonderful experiences. All because I followed my passions and worked to make it happen. And did not listen to that little guy in my head trying to tell me I can’t and to just run away. Life is so much better for me now and I look forward to where it will take me next.

I will get the opportunity to do more card readings again this Sunday and now when it comes, I will not be afraid. I will be ready to embrace this adventure and know it’s changing my life just as much as I am changing another’s life.

Follow your passions.

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This blog post will be the 82nd post on this blog. While that may not be a large number to some, for me it is an impressive feat. To have stuck with this blog for so long and continued to update it somewhat regularly is amazing to me. It is said when we are grateful in life, for all that we do, we cultivate that mindset to allow in even more to us. That is what my life is about. I am so grateful and thankful for what I have achieved this year. That is what this post is ab0ut and where it really all started for with me.

The other day I was having a conversation with someone about how they were in a rough spot in their life, and losing that faith and belief, and the what’s the whole point, type of day for them. I could seriously relate. I have been in those shoes for a long time. I know firsthand how soul crushing it can be to be in that state of mind and being. I had been in a rut for a long, long time. I would say probably a decade or so of being stuck in the same old routines and patterns and way of being. It was not fun. It was extremely depressing. It must be encoded in our DNA to need change in our lives and to make things interesting for ourselves. Of course the irony being that change can be so scary. Probably because we fear our own mortality and change could affect that. Well in our eyes anyways.

Without that change up with out doing something, anything, different, I would have continued down that path of despair with no hope of every getting out. So to help the person I was speaking with I gave them some advice on what really change my life, and got me to this place in myself, life, and creating the 82nd post on this blog. And that advice was, “follow your passions during this time. Do something you love. Something you really truly love. And set out to do it. Set your sights and mind on accomplishing it. Then let it go from there. Allow it to spiral into so much more. That’s what I did, and I am thankful for it in so many ways. You will be amazed at where it will take you, and who you will meet. Those that you meet along the way, will be people you vibe with, and who are on the same wavelength as you. And they will help you and even support you on the journey. And put you into contact with others that will take you even further.

You will be amazed at your life and how it transforms if you keep yourself open to it. Believe in those miracles and they will happen. It may not be in the way you expect it. But it will be even better than you could have imagined or dreamed.” 

That was truly the secret to getting me to where I am today. It was as simple as that. When I had something I wanted out of life, something that I was passionate about, I set out to make that a reality in my life. I knew I had to make changes within myself and my way of living/being to get there. I knew I had to clean up my life and stop the bad eating, the bad thinking, and the bad living. I had to clear up everything and I started there. I set out to clean up my life, my thinking, and my way of being. For some that can be a lot and they can be discouraged by it. Luckily I was passionate about what I wanted to do and what I wanted so I was able to use that fire and that spark to do what I needed to do.

Doing something we are passionate brings us joy in our lives. We are literally doing something we love. For many of us we are not doing that. We are just doing things to get by. I was one of those people. When I finally allowed myself to do something I wanted to do, and passionate about, it opened so many doors and put me on so many new and exciting paths and allowed me to meet so many like minded people and have so many great times, and memories with them all. It has literally changed my life, my way of thinking, and my way of being. And it was as simple as doing something I am passionate about. It lite a new spark within me that has helped drive me to where I am today.

So do something you are passionate about. Follow your dreams. They don’t have to be something you make money off of. They can just be something you love doing and have fun doing. That will make your life so much better. We owe it to ourselves to do something we truly love. At least once in our life. Hopefully it doesn’t end with just “once.” And becomes a integral part of life and living.

You may even inspire another to follow their passions and dreams in life.

Embracing ourselves fully.

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It’s been four days since my Reiki attunment and the things it is helping me with and clearing out and bringing to the surface has been so incredible. As well as thought provoking and eye opening. Energy healing truly is powerful stuff. More so when I have gotten myself to a place to being open to it helping and changing my life. When I first got attuned to it I was not open to it. So it could not truly help me. Fully. 

Naturally these energies that are swirling around within me, moving things out, and rising up within me, have my thinking about a more pure, innocent time in my life. When I was free to be myself and live my own life. Over the years I lost that joy and innocence. I went from believing in myself and not caring about what the world thought of me, and wanting me to be,  to being stuck in pilot over what the world thought about me. We spend the vast majority of our lives being whom we are told to me, and not what we are meant to be. Or even who we want to be. We spend all our time and energy pleasing everyone else we stop listening to ourselves to please us.  We end up thinking and feeling it’s selfish to take care of ourselves. The thing we tell ourselves. 

Naturally when we stop listening to ourselves we lose that spark and that passion for life. Such was the case for me. I remember a time, vaguely that is, when one of the things I loved, believe it or not, was long division. I remember being really good at it, and could solve those problems very quickly. I used to race the students in my class, and even the teacher. And being the first one to solve the problem. Back then I did not care about anything else when I was doing those problems. Did not care if I would be good enough, or fast enough. I believed in myself. I trusted and listened to myself. Something I would forget along the way of my life. It brought me so much joy to do long division. So much passion and love.

Eventually I would move to a different town and a different school. Where I would try to show my abilities with long division, and he told that my handwriting was too sloppy when I wrote and to slow down. In one swift move I would lose that spark, that innocence, and that joy. After that incidence I never really enjoyed math again. I allowed someone else to dictate my happiness, my feelings, and control how I do things. I allowed them to take my power away and rob me of my innocence. Sadly it would not be the last time that would happen in life. 

So that is what Reiki is helping me to do again. Helping me to get back to that state of joy, that state of innocence and bliss. Where I believe in myself and trust myself. Even love myself and what I can do. I have been reminded of that state. Of what it is and was like to be in that awareness of being. To embrace my own way of being and living. Instead of someone else’s way. 

I am finding that now. I am finding that love, that bliss, and belief in myself. And for the first time since a child I am finding that passion and love for what I do and will do. It has been an incredible journey that has been so eye opening and transformative that I am beyond grateful for and thankful for. I now know deep down there is so much more to myself and living. I just forgot what I already knew. As most of us do. 

It’s my time to be me. To live my own life. Free of what others tell me. I will make mistakes. I will fall down. But more importantly I will try and I will do it my own way now. 

It’s my life. And it’s worth living.