Learning to love yourself.

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Setting out to heal myself has been such a liberating journey for myself. It’s also been a scary one, and a hard one at times. It’s hard in the sense that to heal ourselves we also need to confront ourselves. Confront the way we have been living. And we have to learn to accept ourselves for who we are. That last part is one of the hardest things we will do.

Accept ourselves. Accept things have happened to us, and are part of our growth and learning. Hopefully we learn from our missteps and stumbles in life. It’s easy to just sit there and wish we did this or that differently. What if we tried harder? What if we were nicer, or funnier, or better looking. What if. What if. There comes a time in our lives that we must accept that what has happened to us. Happened. And perhaps it could not have happened any other way. We can learn, in time, to let go. Many of us, myself included, want to control so much of our lives. That we sometimes forget that much is out of our hands, and all we can do is just enjoy the ride.

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A new week.

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Hope floats our boats.

It’s Monday, again, the start of a new work week for most. So start your work week off right.  So you, yea, you. You right there reading this message right now. You have a good week. May it be a week filled with love, joy, and happiness.

Since it’s Martin Luther King day,  I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes of his, a quote that is certainly needed in the world today. “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

Inhale love and light. Exhale negativity. Radiate compassion and kindness.

2016: End of year review.

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Wow! It’s hard to believe that 2016 is coming to a close already. No matter how many times I say that I can not wrap my head around that. Much like trying to wrap my head around the notion that Donald Trump will be the next president of the United States. If anything he shows us that you can have any job in the world whether or not you are qualified to have it. So starting next year I will be performing brain surgeries out the back of my truck. That way you can save money on not needing to go to the emergency room. It’s a win-win for both of us. Anyways…

This year has been an incredible year for me personally. The year started off with me making a quest out to the Lonely Mountain, Erebor, to reclaim my homeland… OK, that may or may not have been the plot to the Hobbit.. Or was the Hobbit a true story? I’ll never tell.  This year would be a major change to my way of living and being. At the mid point of 2015 I decided to clean up my life and the way I was not living a life, and make major changes in my life. I had a goal of where I wanted to go in life, and what I wanted out of it, and I set out to reach that goal. I had absolutely no idea how to do it, or even get there. Frankly it was scary thinking of change like that but I knew deep within myself that I needed it. I had to change. I could no longer live the way I was living. For it was killing me, slowly. I was destroying myself. From the inside out. I was 35 and I needed something more to my life. My life had to be more than just existing, and surviving each day. So I set out to make something of myself. I grabbed a pocket full of crystals for my chakras, and a good grounding crystal, for fear, and set out to change my world. Next did I think I would be where I am today.

So it 2016, I had the crazy notion that I would keep building on that and go the distance. I had it in my head that I would take a vacation. The first vacation in about 11 years to be exact. My vacations up until that point had been all staycations, and this time, I thought, let’s go someplace fun. 10 years ago I would have thought I had lost my marbles, thinking such a thought. The last vacation I took with my family was not a happy experience for me.  I had so much anxiety, and panic, that I was miserable the whole time and vowed to never take a vacation again. I did not want to go through THAT again.


Yet, I would not let that guy be me, and let myself deter myself from reaching that goal. So I put it in motion to go forward and take that vacation. I knew it was a huge step, and that I could not just jump out there and go. I would have ran away. I had to start slow and build up to it. So  I planned two vacations for myself in one year. Say what?! I know, crazy. From no vacations to two vacations. I planned a smaller vacation, with a friend, to the Pocono’s, to hang out and tour the sights. His family have a place up there which meant we had a place to stay at and did not have to pay to stay for the week. Score. So come February I headed out on vacation for the first time in a decade. I had to drive myself up there, alone, as that was much easier for me. I don’t like to have people in my car when I get all anxious and not feeling well. Yet while we were up there I was the main driver, and drove my friend around all week. So I was literally knocking two fears off the bucket list. And then I went out and bought a bucket to make a list. Found out, that’s not how you make a bucket list at all.

After the success of the vacation I was on a literal emotional high for the first time in a long, long time. That I was not going to just stop there. I still had another vacation to go and to get there it would take some work. So to speak. So I set out on a weekly adventure. Taking myself out one place a week, every week, for a year. I am now in the 40th week of it. Getting close to the year mark. So exciting for that. I thought at the time that going out once a week would be way too much. Yet now it’s common for me to go out three to four times a week. At first I started out slow. I took myself hiking in the woods. And thankfully I did not get lost out there. That did almost happen and I was very scary. Thank God for GPS. The places and the distances varied. From local, to all the way in the next state over. To all the way a few states over. From only a few hours to being out all night/day long. I started just taking myself places. I was OK with that it was easy on me. I never expected that I would meet like minded people and we would become friends and go the the dinner every other week or so. Life is amazing and it can truly surprise you if you let it.

I would then start taking development classes and workshops as I had plans for what I wanted out of life. And have been working to reach that goal. And in the process I’ve met so many incredible and talented people who have believed in me, encouraged me, and saw something within me, that not even I saw. They have all changed my life in so many ways. They even encouraged me to start doing Oracle Card readings in public for people and now next year, I will have my first own table at a spiritual expo. I look forward to that and hope to have more tables than that one. Not bad for a person who used to be afraid of seeing his own shadow, cause that meant he was outside, and outside was scary. Now I interact with people and have talked to, and met so many wonderful people. Wait, I already said that. Is this like deja vu? Or deja moo? Return of the cow?

Bet you weren’t expecting to see a cow here. You were mooo-staken.

Each of those weekly adventures really, really, helped me reach that goal of taking my first real vacation in over a decade. And I had a blast doing it. Visiting Washington D.C. and seeing the Smithsonian. So many firsts were accomplished. I did it all on my own. Had no one else do it for me. Which was a first for me. It was nice to take charge like that. I even rode the metro all by myself. Still think it’s unnatural taking such a fast moving train. I even spent the whole day down there with a friend and saw the White House. There was so much to see down there that it was impossible to see it all at once. Which just means I will be able to get down there again.

This year even saw my go deeper into my healing sessions and get a Reiki session on myself, get myself a tune-up attunement, and attend some crystal bowl healing sessions. They have all been incredible and priceless to my healing. (If you get the chance to do a Reiki session or crystal bowl. Try them out.) Helping me release and let go of so much. Allowing me to open back up to things I have been so closed down to over the years. Allowing me to feel and experience so much more in my life. Loving the energy work that I even did a Reiki session on a friend of mine, and may even do some more in the coming year. I have taken many other workshops, and classes, over the year. Learning and growing, developing and bettering myself. And plan to take even more classes in the coming year. There are a few in January I am looking forward to. I may even take another vacation in the New Year as well.

I still have much to see and do in the coming year(s). I have changed so much in my life for the better. And I plan to keep on changing and growing and bettering myself. I took a huge first step in changing my life. Changing me. I am doing things I never thought I would or could. Yet I have and lived through them all. I know now that there is so much more to life and living and I plan to live my life better and more. I am hopeful for my future to see myself do even more. To change more of my life. To take myself out of a job that I no longer enjoy or love doing to something I love and enjoy going to work. So when I am on vacation again I don’t dread going back to work. I deserve that. We all do. I know now that I am worthy of good things. In the New Year I plan to continue to build this blog up to more and more. My journey has been an incredible one and I enjoy sharing it with everyone. I will look forward to reaching the year mark on my weekly adventures and can’t wait to see where my adventures take me after that. This is only the beginning of my story. Why not start your own adventure in 2017?

11-11: A time for real change. 

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There is a lot going on in the world these days, as we are still reacting to the results of the election, coupled with the full moon coming up. The largest full moon in like 70 years. For us sensitive people that are aware of energy we can certainly feel it these days. While many are still reeling and left confused and hurt right now, it’s a good time to step back and allow yourself to regroup and find your center and find your inner peace. 

Today, is 11-11. 11:11 is an energetic gateway for us. Many people will report seeing that time a lot in their lives. I have seen it many times over the years, and have been seeing it a lot lately. As it is a reminder of the universe about a time of great change for us. Sometimes it’s personal and other times it’s larger than that. It is also about creating our own realities that we wish to see. And that is where we are at in our lives now. The universe gives us many opportunities for various things in our lives to experience what we need to to grow and better ourselves. I’ve seen it so many times within my life. Now it can be seen starting to play out in the world. Many of us can feel it. Now is our time to start creating a better reality for ourselves which will create a better reality within the world. 

I feel what is going on now is  a major wake up call to us all, to change our lives for the better. Our lives are affecting each and everyone of us on the planet. And we know, deep down, we can do so much better. This is an opportunity for us to learn and grow, and grow together, and see us all as fellow travelers on this journey of life.

So be careful with your thoughts for they can become your reality. Now is the time to create a better life and reality for yourself. Start today. 

Love will win in the end. 

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Rose Quartz
The world is coming to terms with the election that just happened in the US yesterday and there is a lot of emotions being felt right now by everyone. I’ve not really made political posts on this blog so will not really go into it too much but felt compelled to still say something. As one that is sensitive to energies and the world around me, I could feel the energies in the air yesterday. I could feel that change is coming. Yet at the same time, there was a strong somber feel to the energies as well. As if this was the calm before the storm. 

With the results yesterday I still feel this change and this shift will still occur. 

The shift and change has not stopped. It is happening regardless of who would win. That much has been made clear. The results of election and the people running were the choices that the people made to bring about. Now we see the repercussions of our choices and our actions and we now know that we can do better. We can create better. We must thank the universe for the opportunity to grow and better ourselves and allow ourselves to truly be the change we want in the world. 

We must no longer be asleep and must now be the change and take actions in our lives and the world at large. 

It may seem hopeless right now, that fear, hate, and panic has won. There is still hope for this is a new beginning of change. We know what we want out of life. We know we can do better. We must not just roll over in defeat and give up. We have come so far. We must continue moving forward. Getting involved, speaking up, and spreading love and compassion. Change can and will happen. Thank the universe for this opportunity to learn and grow. We will rise from the ashes and be stronger and better than ever before.

We will be a better people. We will see and know we are all together on this journey. We are all one with each other. 

It’s not the end. It’s a new beginning. 


Coming into my own self. 

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This journey I have been on has been an incredible journey as it has taught me and shown me so much. I have been so thankful for it all. For every step I have taken. For every person that has come into my life from it. Whether they were just to teach me one thing or to stay for a longer part of my journey. I am thankful for all of it. I have been able to grow so much from it all. 

One of the biggest blessings was one I never really thought of or expected and that was coming into my own self. Coming into being me and being confidant and happy with myself and how I am. Most would call the way I was living as being shy, and I guess I’m some ways that was true. The bigger picture was more that I was not confident or trusting in myself. I was not strong within myself as a being so I would just be meek and timid in life and I lived a life reflecting such attitudes. 

During this journey I have learned so much about myself, and what I am capable of doing, things I never even would have dreamed of, which has helped me believe in myself. As such it helps me speak more truthfully to how I feel and what I want out of life. Instead of in the past not saying things, or getting involved, I now speak my mind. Instead of just rolling over. It is so very liberating to be able to do that. To not be so concerned with what others will say, or even if they will agree with me, but to still be able to express myself and voice my opinions. I spent so long not speaking my truth, it is great to finally be able to speak at all. 

For so long I kept myself from the world and was not really living in the world. I was merely just a shadow, a part of it. It is so nice to actually be standing within the world and experiencing it. As if it is the first time doing so. When I first started this journey I was so afraid, so unsure of myself. What I wanted and how I would get there. I was conflicted and confused. Afraid of what others would think of me. Not wanting to say things or even speak up. Even when I started this blog I confined myself to what I was going to say on it and who I shared it with. Now I move more freely with it speaking of things I love, such as oracle cards, crystals, energy healing, and to even spirits, and angels. It is freeing to be me. To speak my mind. And the greatest thing of it all? Finding and interacting with people that are like minded to me, who share similar beliefs and ideas, and love to hear what I have to say and just get me. 

I never cease to be amazed at the people I meet, at the places I have been and seen. I’ve had incredible conversations with so many people. To see and know how incredibly fortunate and lucky I truly am. How glad I am for all of it. The good. The bad. The heartbreak. It was all needed and important to get me to where I am today. And now I know that so much more is out there. I have only scratched the surface to what this world is about and has. I happily look forward to where it will take me. 

Being who you choose to be. 

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Look at that. This is my third blog post this week. In bowling they would call that a Turkey. Gobble gobble… Hmm. I think I made that joke before. Poor form chap. 50 points from Gryffindor. And 25 from Slytherin, just because. 

Being true to you. Is something I have struggled with for some time in my life. More aptly being who I choose to be. For so long I was always trying to be who I thought I should be or who others said I should be, or even tried to be who they wanted me to be. Sadly that is how life becomes for us. We lose who we are. We lose sight of what we wanted to do or be in life and we just life an empty shell of existence trying to please everyone else except our selves. Why is it so hard to do something for ourselves? Why is it we would rather put others needs over our own? Do we find it selfish to take care of us? I think for many of us we do think it would be selfish to give ourselves some attention. What I do know is not being true to us robs us of some of our happiness. 

That was true for me. I had spent so long trying to be someone I wasn’t that I stopped being who I was and was miserable the whole time. Even worse you start to hate those who changed you and deep down that hate ends up getting turned on us. We start to hate us and who we become. 

It was not until I started to embrace myself and what I loved and enjoyed did I start to find that happiness within myself. It was not easy to embrace myself. As I had lived so long in that fear of being me that I was afraid of being rejected or ridiculed for my beliefs, or because I have more shirts with nerdy graphics on them, like Transformers or duck tales, than shirts that are plain. We spend so much time trying to conform and fit in that we are willing to give up ourselves and our identities in the process. 

It can be scary being true to us in a society that wants us to conform. Where it wants us to be who they think we should be regardless of what we want to be. After all how many work in a job or field they do not truly want to be in? I know I have. It can be scary going against the grain so to speak. Standing up for yourself and speaking ones own truth. I struggled with that a few times with this blog and wondering what I should post about. Should I not mention that I took Reiki sessions, or that I do Oracle card readings for others, and am apparently pretty good at it. Then I realize st the end of the day. The only person I have to please the most and live with, is myself. I have to live with my decisions and actions. It is me that stares back when I look into the mirror and it is my life. I choose to be happy now. I choose to life my own life. The one I can look back in fondly and smile. 

Who knows it may catch on and others may too choose to live their own lives for a change. 

Perhaps if we all took that time to be who we choose to, we may love ourselves a little bit more. Perhaps if we loved ourselves fully we would be nicer to others and not lash out at them. Can we hurt another if we truly loved ourselves? If you are fully of love how can you purposely attack another? Perhaps if we loved ourselves we would stop the bullying and mean behavior towards another. Perhaps life would be all the sweeter if we lived that way.