This weekend was a very busy weekend for me. In fact this past week had me doing something every single night. This past Saturday say me attending a Paranormal event at Whitehall Mansion in Fieldsboro NJ. I would be sharing a table with a friend, doing Angel card readings. The event was scheduled from 10am to 6PM. An all day event, with us set to get there at 8:30 AM, it was set to be a long, long day.
Except this day would start a little different than the past few days, and weeks have been for me. This day would start with a terrible anxiety attack. Something of the likes I had not felt in a year and a half. This attack was quite terrible, and I almost felt like the old me. Where I was so wanting to just run away, not even go to the event. This was that strong. Over the past year and a half, or so, since I started this adventuring, I had to keep pushing myself. I knew if I were to retreat, as tempted as I was many times, it would set a trend that would keep repeating. I would use it as a way “out” if I wanted to. And in doing that, I would start doing that more and more. I kept pushing. No matter how scary it was. I kept pushing. Further and further. I could not allow this to be any different. I had to dig deep within myself to muster up the strength to go.
Go I went. I pushed myself to travel to this place, which luckily was only thirty minutes away. While driving there, I did the only thing I could think of. Use my Reiki on myself to calm my emotions, calm my energy, and soothe the anxiety. I placed my hand on my solar plexus, and the other on the steering wheel, or crashing my car would have opened a whole other can of worms for me, anxiety being the least of my concerns. Of course I could have asked Jesus to take the wheel, but people look at you all scared like if you are driving with no hands on the wheel. I then opened up to the Reiki energy to flow through me, and into me, and let Reiki do it’s magic… And I was blown away by the Reiki. That in a few short minutes my body started to relax, my anxiety start to calm itself, and in minutes I was feeling alive again, and back to being the person I had become. I kept my hand there on my solar plexus, and on the heart center, and kept the energy flowing for most of the trip to where I was going. And I felt great after I was done sending Reiki. I was calm, relaxed, and ready to take on the day ahead of me.
After arriving my friend that was going there, told me they were having a lot of anxiety, that morning. Which was the anxiety I was feeling. Being an empath, like I am, I pick up on other peoples feelings and emotions. Which helped me to understand why I was having this anxiety so out of the blue. I am starting to understand myself more and more, as I heal and open up. I am learning so much about myself. Being an empath my whole life, I probably suffered through many anxiety attacks, or random depression, that was not mine. I was just picking it up. Long before I learned to shield and ground those energies.
There was a lot of energy at this place, not just from the people, but the building itself. As the building dates back to the 1700’s, and is very active. I walked through it, on a tour, and picked up/sensed the energy of spirit in there. A few of them. Children running up the steps. A lady, in an old fashioned dress, and an ol’ time gangster/mobster that hangs down in the bar. It was a fun day, a few readings were had, and the anxiety did not return. I was able to enjoy the day, and myself.
I am always amazed at what Reiki can do, the healing it can bring to us. And I have only scratched the surface of energy healing, and what it can bring to us. I look forward to where it will take me, and more adventures to go on.
This week was a huge week for me in my weekly adventures in pushing myself further and further, and working through my anxiety/panic attacks, so I can live a ‘normal’ life. Since I was off Monday, I went out on Monday, which would still qualify as my weekly adventure in going out… But I was not gonna just fall into my old ways and only go out that one time when Saturday in my normal time for going out.
So that is what I did. I decided to go out again today, for my second time. I was not sure on where I was going or how many options I was gonna have, as it was said to Snow today… Yep, that’s right. Snow in April. Is it still considered Winter weather in Spring even if it’s snow, or does it become Spring Weather?
After mulling over a couple ideas of where to go, I decided to go and see Devil’s Tower in Alpine NJ, today. It has an interesting history behind it. A plantation farmer erected it for his wife, so she could see the NY skyline. One day she went up the tower and found her husband with another one, so she threw herself off the tower. It is said that she still haunts the place. That was really what interested me in seeing it. To see if there was any ghosts there. I am interested in that type of stuff. I plan and hope to check out more types of places like that during my adventures. I am really fascinated by this kind of stuff. Who knows maybe one day I’ll go a ghost investigation with a group of paranormal investigators. That would be something. As well as something I never even considered before, or being able to do. Now that things are changing for me, all types of doors are opening for me. And I am loving every second of it.
This voyage was a big one because it was a long, long ride to it. This was about a little over 2 hours to get there. Which can seem like forever for a person that has gone through the struggles and battles of anxiety. At around over an hour or so of driving and looking at the towns I got to that point of, holy crap! This is really happening. I am so far from my home. This is real. I did not panic during that. I did not turn around, or stop. Which is a blessing compared to the past, where I would have gone mental, and wigged out. I was getting really close to NY, and at times I thought I was going to end up there. As it felt like my GPS was sending me there. Luckily I did not get into NY. It was a lovely tower to see. Sadly it is not open to see the insides, it is fenced off, with a camera, and a no trespassing sign. So all I could do was snap a few pictures. Admire my view, and be proud of getting there. Before heading back home. My legs were so tired from being in the car like that. But it was a great triumph for me, and will help me go even further with myself and my journeys. Sadly, I did not see any ghosts and this place. Though I did have that eerie feeling of being watched from the tower. But that could have been my own preconceived notions of the place being haunted and made myself feel like it was.
I returned home and got some grapes to celebrate my victory. I love me some grapes.