It’s been a while since I’ve written anything on this blog, I’ve been slacking, and need to get back into writing, and back into adventure mode again. Hard to believe it’s already August, this year has been flying by. Next week will be my birthday, and I will be turning 38. I no longer have to be sad about that, not that I am sad about getting older, in times past, I was sad that I would be getting older and would have nothing to show for it in life. I was not doing anything. Now I can be happy to have an accomplished list of things I am doing with life now. And this weekend was no exception. This weekend was an action packed weekend of adventures and fun.
It started Saturday, when me and my girlfriend were deciding to go to Wildwood to lay on the beach. Oh yes, I have not mentioned that before, during my journey and getting out more, I was able to meet someone incredible, who had become such an important part of my life and journey now, who has helped me in so many ways, of opening up, and helping me go further in life. Before her I was afraid to really have someone in my car together with me, I hated it, if anxiety would happen, I would never want anyone to be there around it, to see it. Thanks to her, I have been able to drive five hours in a car with another person. And that has opened up many doors for me. I had been so afraid to date again, because of my issues, and people in the past not being understanding of it, and breaking up with me because of it. I am thankful to be able to have met someone who is very supportive and encouraging of me, even when I don’t see it myself. For those in my shoes who think they will always be alone and not find someone to make them happy and understand their journey, know that I was the same way, and was able to finally find someone. I had given up on it for a decade. After that time, I was able to find someone. After allowing myself to be open again and interracting with people again.
Of course Mother Nature had different plans for us as the weather was rainy and a little gloomy in the morning, causing us to not head out when we planned to. As the day went on and the sun came out again, we would eventually decide to drive down to Wildwood, while friends were down there. It was a spur of the moment, thing to finally do, after we originally were not going to go. And boy did we make the right choice to head down there and walk the boards. It was nice to be able to just go where ever I wanted to, whenever I wanted to, and go and enjoy myself. We walked the boards and played some games. We did one of those water gun games where you shoot the gun at a target, and it climbs the pole. The buzzer sounded, and I won. Only to see that another gun was faulty, causing them to re-do the race, and I didn’t win the second time. I was robbed out of my prize. I did get vindication by winning a Yoshi out of the claw game, first attempt. After a few hours there we headed home, after a fun night out walking around, and just enjoying life.
We then had every intention to return to Wildwood and sit on the beach the next day, since we didn’t do that the first time, but our plans changed, and we decided to go and walk around South Street in Philadelphia, and walk around Penn’s Landing, with my girl’s parents. We even took one car, where I drove us all. A fear I used to have, and would never do before. People in my car, and those people being my girl’s parents. Double yowzer! I then survived that drive, and we even took the Patco in to Philly. A lot of that is what would normally stress me out in the past, and this was me testing myself all in the process. Pushing myself to see what all I can do. I am able to report I was able to make it into Philly with no issue. The idea of just randomly walking around, anywhere, would have really driven me off the edge. This time I was cool as a cucumber as I walked around the town. All over the place, and for hours with other people. We even really put my limits to the test as we went and ate food as well. Back in the day if I ever went out for whatever reason, you can bet your last dollar, I would have never gotten anything to eat. I would have starved myself instead of giving myself fuel to the fire of my anxiety and stomach issues. Now I can relax and enjoy foods with other people and then walk around. Where we ended up stopping and getting hand scooped ice cream, at Franklin’s, before heading back home. I did not have any ice cream, I gave up all that stuff to be healthy and to help my stomach issues. I don’t regret it because doing so has allowed me to do this type of stuff more easily.
After arriving back at the Patco station and waiting for the train, I started to feel really agitated, and almost felt like I was going to have a full blown anxiety attack, and wanted to run away, and leave everyone. Before I realized it was not my anxiety I was feeling. I am sensitive, and an empath, so I can feel and absorb another person’s energy, and take it on as my own. Something I have just recently learned I could do. I now wonder how many anxiety attacks out of the blue were truly mine, or was the energy of someone else. The energy I was picking up, was really bad. Luckily I was able to send it away, and get away from them, and find my peace and serenity again, and return back home, after another fun day of adventuring.
I am so thankful for this journey, for the people I have met, and those I can now call friends. My life has improved so much, and I can’t imagine my life any other way now.
This week I got to be reminded of how fortunate I am to have such good people in my life. People I can call friends. For so long that term was used so seldom. Now I am blessed to have many in my life that support me, are there for me, understand me, and just allow me to be me. Not wanting me to be someone I am not. This week I got to spend a few nights hanging out with them, just laughing, telling stories, and bettering ourselves. For that I am grateful.
I have many walls still in place, and I have lots of work to do on me to take down my dependence on those walls. I believe and know I can be free of them. Now I am fortunate to have those willing to help me, and are there enjoying that ride with me. Watching me grow and become a better person. Truthfully I probably could not have done it without them. So I wanted to take a moment to just thank them for coming into my life, teaching me, and growing with me. I look forward to where life takes us all in our journeys.
I am thankful that just two years ago, I was so anxious, so fearful, so broken, that I couldn’t even be out with friends in a place for a few hours just shooting the breeze all night like. And yesterday I did just that. I have come so far and am so thankful for it all.
Tomorrow I will have a write up of my weekly adventures. I have many more stories to tell with this blog, and hopefully I can start writing more. I’ll keep this post short.
One last note if you are looking for something to watch I recommend, Stranger Things, on Netflix. It is a wonderful show that really just draws you in to keep on watching it, without even realizing they are doing it. It’s an odd, strange, and bizarre show, that starts off slow, but really picks up, and hooks you, in episode 4 and on. So check it out, I love the way they captured the 80’s in, and the nerd in me loved the Dungeons and Dragon’s references. Speaking of which, I am off to watch the old animated series. Enjoy your weekend.
The Do you believe in Magic Edition.
After being sick and spending a week in bed it was nice to finally get back into the groove of things. I did take it slow this week. While I was still recovering from being sick and my stomach adjusted back into its normal patterns. This week was also Thanksgiving for us in the USA. I was doing a meal for myself and my dad. I have been doing that for 4 years now and have enjoyed doing that. Never thought I would enjoy cooking yet here I am. It was nothing huge mind you as it was for only two people. Because of the way my stomach works I have limited myself to eating certain foods so I do not get to enjoy all of the things I normally would on Thanksgiving, such as Stuffing. I did make some exceptions and have cranberry sauce. I don’t normally eat added sugars of High fructose corn syrup. I also had some Waldorf Salad. Apples are a fruit I can’t eat normally. While my body was off a little after eating them it was not too bad. And I am completely thankful for that.
After dinner I would hose desserts and more of my family would come over for that. Much pie, and cookies, and fruity pebbles treats were consumed that night. I stayed healthy and did not have any of that and only had fruit instead. It’s not easy staying healthy during the holidays when so many bad foods are out. It helps knowing what it will do to my body and my mind to consume it. Without them my life has improved so much. I do not want to go back to that life ever again. I love the new me. I love being able to do these weekly adventures. I love being able to have fun and go places. Like investigating a cemetery for a few hours at night. I would not be able to do that before and now that I can I choose to not go back to it ever again. So if it means giving up those foods that only really provided me a quick thing than so be it. After desserts we would play some Legend of Zelda edition Yahtzee. Yes, it’s a real thing. I, of course, did not do well in that game. I game in last I believe. The only thing that makes sense is cheating. Lots of cheating. I will make a motion with the gaming committee to investigate this. I will get to the bottom of it. LOL. Fun was had all around. I can’t even recall the last time, if there ever was a time, of playing games with family like that. It was a nice change of pace. Hopefully we will continue out game shenanigans at Christmas time. Growing up some of my fondest memories were of family getting together for the holidays. Families fight, and yell, and shout at each other. Many times we don’t agree with each other or even get along most of the time. Yet at the holidays we all come together and enjoy the company of each other. We create those wonderful moments with each other. While in many of those times there is still the yelling and carrying on but that magic of it all just makes it worthwhile. We won’t remember much in our lives over the years. But those memories we make they stay with us. It’s not easy continuing such things or keeping those traditions over the years. We get married we have families and we start our own little traditions with our families we start. So when people can get together like this it is something that can be cherished and remembered fondly.
And just like that another holiday has come and gone. This year has moved by so incredibly fast. Probably my fault from all the fun I have been having. I would say I was sorry for making time move so fast but I’m not sorry. I am having the time of my life. For the first time ever in my life.
Saturday would be another day of adventure. Well a small day of adventure as I would take myself out to the movies to see Fantastic Beasts and where to find them. I got my Nerd on. Overall it was a good movie. It was very dark in tone and nature and as such was more adult than the Harry Potter films. So in that regard it did not have the same charm as those movies did, IMO. It was nice to be back in that Wizarding World once more. Which I believe is said to be a few movies, with talks of up to five movies. We shall see where this franchise goes from here.
After the movies I would go over a friends house and we would play some Nintendo Wii video games. Some Super Mario All-stars and some Wii Bowling. Followed by a game of Skip-bo. It was a nice way to end the week and was very relaxing and just what I needed after being sick for a week. Next weekend I will be running on of two Holiday Toy Drives. Where I will be doing oracle card readings, with some other talented card readers, to bring in some toy donations for Toys for Tots. I have never done anything like this so it’s a nice change of pace and a huge learning curve as I take charge and make things happen for once in my life. Normally I just do what others have created. It’s nice to step up into my own for a change. Hopefully it has a good turnout for this toy drive.
I’ve also been working with Reiki energies on myself as I work on going deeper into my healing and healing and removing blocks that I have put up over the years that have kept me safe but also kept me away from the world. I will post more about that at another time, in its own little post. As this year quickly comes to an end I prepare for an even better 2017. Going even further within myself for my healing.
The looking good. Feeling good edition.
It never ceased to amaze me when I look at my calendar and see it so booked up with events I am doing, or attending. When it was not that long ago when my calendar was empty. This week was no exception. This week I was all over the place. And I loved every minute of it.
My adventures this week started on Sunday, where I would attend a fundraiser and do card readings at them. The event was a wonderful experience that really opened the doors to new things, and allowed me to learn and grow more. That is what life is all about. Allowing us to learn and grow. Sadly many of us refuse to do that, and we end up facing the same lesson over and over again. From there I would go to a metaphysical meetup at a place I have taken classes at, and that was another great night, with great conversation, with like minded people. It is a wonderful feeling to be around like minded people. The laughs, and the conversation, are so much fun. I would have never thought I could ever attend something like that and I am so glad that I am able to do it. They have changed my life for the better. I have changed so much over the last couple months, from this timid person unsure of himself, to moving forward with a purpose. And I couldn’t imagine my life any other way now. This is my life. I am happy for it.
Then Tuesday I would go out with some friends that I have met at classes and we would go and have some tea, and have more fun conversation, and we even do some oracle card readings with each other. And I had one of, if not the most delicious Chicken Cobb salad I have ever had. I had it at a diner of all places. Do not sleep on diner food, is apparently the moral of this story. Wednesday I would go to class and have another fun night, and did another card reading for someone that really enjoyed it. With Thursday and Friday being the only days I did not go out and do something.
That there was an action packed week and I could have easily said that was my week, but I have been having fun doing things on Saturday that I was not going to stop there. This time it was my niece’s birthday party and she was having it at a Water Park at a hotel. Some place called Coko or something like that. I had never been in there before. It was strange doing a water park party in the middle of October. I was wearing a sweatshirt and pants and they were splashing in their bathing suits. I will say, I did wish I had my trunks, it looked like a lot of fun them going through the tubes into the pools. There’s always next time and now I am in a place where there can be a next time.
After that fun I went to my old high school to watch my niece do some cheers during the game. It’s crazy to realize that this is 20 years since I graduated high school and I was seeing this place for the first time in over a decade. It sure made me feel old. Luckily they did not cheer for long as the sun was brutal out there and did not have to be outside for too long. Since there really was not much shade to hide in. After we left me and my sister went to get something to eat… And I think that may have been the first time I’ve ever just gone out to eat with just me and my sister. It was a nice change of pace in my life. No chicken Cobb salad as they did not have the Cobb salad but I did get the maple mustard salmon which is also delicious. After lunch me and my sister went shopping all over the place while I was looking for a bag and eventually after a few stops was able to get something I liked. All together my and my sister spent the day together, 7 hours, of fun, adventures, and conversations. Something I would have missed out on doing when I was younger. I missed so much in my life, when anxiety and fear was running me life.
I am glad and happy that I was able to get my life back and live it and enjoy it. These are the moments and memories I will have for the rest of my life. I am completely thankful and over the moon.