Wow! What a year in the books for me, and hopefully for you as well. It’s crazy to think that 2017 is coming to an end. And 2018 is getting ready to pounce on us. It feels like the year just started, and now, it’s over faster than Christmas break when you are a kid. This year had a lot of firsts for me, and I did things in 2017 that I never thought I would.
It’s been two years since I started my journey of healing my life, and changing everything. I never thought where I am today would be where I would end up. When I started this journey I was alone. Sure, I had a small selection of close friends, but it was just me. This was a journey I had to take. This was something I had to do for myself. I needed to do it. I set out to change my life. I set out to go beyond my anxiety. I set out to go beyond my depression. I set out to live my life and be more than an anxious/depressed person. I was not living up to my potential. I was not living at all. I was existing. I was going through the motions. Day in. Day out. Repeat.
This week has been a celebration of life for me. More aptly this has been the anniversary of my birth. I am a year older this week, and hopefully I am a year wiser. I have certainly learned a lot this year, and have of course made a few mistakes. But each one has provided me great opportunities to grow and learn. Each of them, the good and bad, has provided me lessons that have better me. I have survived them all and am thankful for that as they have helped me to open up to more and more. And help me to allow in more in my life.
During this week it has given me much to think about and ponder as I turn 38. While I look back upon a life that is now better lived. I can not help but to smile on where I am now in life. When I started this journey two plus years ago, I did not know where I would end up. I started with basically nothing. I was living an empty life, and had nothing to show for me. While I had some friends, and family, I was alone with them all. It’s a hollow existince to have to be surrounded by people yet be alone.
Yet this journey has surprised me in so many ways that I can be nothing but grateful and thankful today. For all of it. In the course of that journey I have met so many incredible people that has become such important people in my life, people I can truly call friends. People that support me, care about me, are there for me, and above all of that, love me for who I am. That was a blessing I never expected to find in this journey. To be honest it was something I never thought I’d get in life. I was not looking for it, because I had come to accept that that was my life. That was the way I would always be. I am thankful I was proven wrong on that. Life has a tendency to prove me wrong when I think I know something. And I am ok with that.
When I started this journey I was so afraid to go anywhere. I had not taken an actual vacation in a decade, and since this journey, I have taken an actual vacation four times in that two years, and have visited so many sights and so many landmarks, that I have lost count of them all. And I am not complaining about that. There was a time I was wishing to not have to go places because that was easier for me. Now I’m wishing to go more places and see even more. Just wish I had the money to do so. As we all do that wish to travel.
I have been blessed in so many ways, that I am so thankful and grateful for. All because I set out to change my life, and my life changed me. It’s opened so many doors and given me so much. Shown and taught me so much. And with that joy it has given me, I am able to create things with a grateful heart, as that is what I can now bring into my life. More things to be grateful for. I never thought I would be where I am. I never thought it was possible. I doubted too much and denied even more. Now I am able to watch miracles unfold in my life. See prayers be answered and doors open even further.
Gratitude has gone a long way for me and does for everyone who is grateful. It creates a positive atmosphere within us that reflects out into our lives. My journey is only just beginning and now I am witnessing dreams of mine come true. So this week is a celebration for me, not just because I am older, but because I am celebrating life. I was given life back to me, and I thank God every day for that.
I am thankful for this journey, I am thankful for everyone who I have met, and heard from, who have told me my blog has inspired them. I am glad to had that and hope that this blog does just that. Inspired the light within you to help you make the changes you want to, to live the life you have only dreamed of. We are all worthy and deserving of good things. God, or whatever you want to call God, wants the best for us. And we deserve that. That love and happiness is real. And is a lasting part of our life. Something we will always have and cherish for as long as we live, and beyond.
Be grateful. Be thankful. Love fully. And smile more.
This popped up on my timeline today, I wrote it a year ago.
“Just about a year ago, I was in a terrible place in my life. I was unhealthy, out of shape, in a lot of pain emotionally and physcially. I was in a very, very dark place in my life… I then decided to do something about it. Turn my life around. No one was going to do it for me. So I cleaned up my eating, and started running. Within a short amount of time things were changing and improving for me. I was becoming more than I could ever imagine. Within that time I dropped 70 pounds and got into the best shape in my life, I am feeling happy, healthy, and so much light. I am truly, for the first time in my life. Happy. I genuinly am happy to my very core, and I look forward with much optimism to the future and all that it will bring. I don’t wear tank tops, never have. It was not easy sharing a pic of one, even if I do look good. Na na na na na… Batman.”
It’s hard to believe the guy in the left is the same as the guy in the right and that that guy was me at one point in my life. Two years ago I sent out to change my life for the better. I never thought I would get to where I am today. Since I started that journey I have been to the Poconos, twice, to a Washington D.C., to Gettysburg and there is so many more adventures in there. I never could have fathomed being able to do any of that. Yet I am proud to say I have done that and so much more.
I have seen and done so many things, and met so many people over the course of that two years. I am blessed and thankful for it all. I’ve seen first hand what fear can do to us and our lives and I know for us to get through the fear we have to walk through it. We can pray for all the strength in the world by only we can act upon the opportunities presented to us. Only we can act courageous in the face of fear. Many will supposed and encourage us but it’s up to us to act. Not everyone will understand our new journeys because they only knew us as the old us. Yet we become something so much more.
My journey has shown me that if I can do it anyone can do it. Two years ago I set off on an epic journey to change my world and I am so glad to have done so. I look forward to where I will go tomorrow.
That pic was a year ago, I have lost even more weight and finally am at a place where I love the way I look, and don’t hate to have picture taken.
Here is what I look like today.
I’m creating a life I am proud of an can look back upon and smile. It’s not been easy and has challenged me in many ways. I know how eat it can be to just want to give up and run away. How the depression dark thoughts I have fought can still have a tendency to creep up on me and want to consume me. But I keep my head up, and keep the energy going, and keep moving forward to better things. And this time, the depression doesn’t win. It didn’t have power over me anymore. I don’t give it any. I don’t give in to it.
I live life.
Today is the first day of a new year. 2017. The beginning of a new chapter. A chapter that we can create and write about anything. The world is our oyster to make it anyway we see fit to create. 2016 is in the past and now we carry on, we carry our torches, and we move forward into a new horizon.
It’s amazing to see how far I have come in my journey since I started out last year. I am a completely different person. I am more confident in myself and believe more in myself. I was this, unsure, and often at times shy person. Yet, I have grown more into me.That would not have been possible had I not have taken that proverbial plunge and took myself out there and went on that first adventure so very long ago. It has literally changed my life. For the better.
Many people start their year off with high hopes, they write their resolutions. To give up that. To change this way of thinking. I have had many resolutions, and have changed so much within me. This year I am focusing more on goals and what I wish to accomplish in the new year.
I have written my goal list, and set my intentions for the new year.
Some of them include,
- meditate more
- do more oracle card readings
- go on even more adventures
- love more and truly mean it
- spend more time learning and growing
- become better than I was last year
Last year I started a regular meditation practice and this year I plan to continue with it and go deeper within my meditations, in my practice of stillness. A lot of self healing revolves around meditation, and understanding ourselves, and our needs. And who doesn’t want a few minutes of stillness/silence in their lives. My day does not feel started yet until I take time to meditate. I also started doing oracle card readings for people, and have enjoyed them, and hopefully, within the new year I will be able to do even more for people.
There is no greater force in all of creation than love. It is the one thing that stays with us through everything. People will not remember the things we bought, or even most of what we said, but they will recall the way we made them feel. They way we treated them and others. And I will work to operate more from a place of love and compassion in the new year and beyond. For that is what the world needs above all else at this time. Love and compassion for our neighbors. The world would be a much more gentler place. What we put out into the world we bring back into our own lives. So when we send out that positive energy that is the energy that comes back to us. As per the universal law of attraction.
I took so many adventures last year, and I look forward to where they will take me. The places I will see, the people I will meet. I look forward to it all. And in become a better person that who I was yesterday. That’s all we can ever really ask for ourselves.
So Happy New Year! Make this year your best year yet. No one can do it for you. So take this time to make your plan and goals for this year. And see where you end up this time next year. You may actually enjoy the ride. I know I did.
The Dukes of Hazard edition.
This weeks adventure has been brought to you by the letter J, and the number 6. This week marked the last week of adventuring of 2016. It’s here, it’s finally here. The last day of the year. Hip Hip, Hooray!
This week was a rough week for me as I was plagued with depression for the first half of the week. As such I was not motivated to do much. So I stayed in my sweatpants and stayed inside playing some Titanfall 2. I’m not normally a FPS fan, but this game was really well done. It was an emotional roller coaster all the way through. I have not ventured into multiplayer as I am not really a multiplayer fan. My gaming of choice is RPG, like some Elder Scrolls, or Diablo 3. I do like a good action/platformer, I loved the Uncharted Franchise. The fourth one was phenomenal, and really finish the story of Drake well. I also enjoyed the original Assassin’s Creed. I love a game, or movie, that can weave it’s story and plot through actual events to make them seem plausible. Like Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Slayer. Of course I really only played the first two AC games, I loved Altair Ibn-La’Ahad, shame he only appears in the one game. The second one was not bad, but felt they become more about puzzle solving and not about the action/adventure of it all. So really stopped playing after that one. I was not really that concerned about building my town, and collecting followers.
Assassin’s creed brings us to this week’s adventure as there is now an Assassin’s Creed movie, that of course, I had to go see it. This movie followed the exploits of a whole new person, and was not connected to characters from the franchise. Overall I thought the movie was done really good as a little action/adventure flick. Now it is based on a video game series which I am familiar with, so have some back story to it. However you don’t need to have played the games to understand what is going on in the movie, and the concept of it. It does a good job using key elements from the games and weaves them wonderfully throughout the movie. I was surprised to see such a star studded cast besides Michael Fassbender, there was Jeremy Irons, and Marion Cottilard. The one thing that could have made this movie better was better character development, to really know the characters more. I would give it three out of five stars.
Later on in the week I would take myself out to the movies again and this time see Sing, by Illumination Entertainment. That also was a pretty good movie. If you are looking for a family movie to go and see right now, take them to see the movie Sing. It is well animated and pretty funny at times, and has a huge cast of people voicing characters. From Seth McFarlane to Scarlett Johansson. Ilumination Entertainment, the group most known for their Minion characters, have been pretty impressive in their other characters as well. Secret Life of Pets, one of their movies, was a good flick as well. However I will say they do not have the character development, story telling, that Pixar has. The range of emotions that Pixar can show in a movie, and sometimes not even using words, case in point the opening of UP. That’s not counting the Cars franchise. I do not know how that one keeps going, and do we really need a Third cars? Overall I would give Sing three out of four stars.
That was it for this week as I relaxed, and enjoyed my vacation, and get ready for the new year. As I set my intentions and goals that I hope to achieve within the new year. I even did my customary tarot reading for myself on what the year will bring. The last two years readings have been spot on in what has panned out. So this year will be another interesting one. I will go deeper into my healing of myself, taking down more walls. As I become more confident, and open, and receptive in the new year. I look to make this year even more better than 2016. Thank you for checking out the blog, liking page, or the Facebook page.
And now I am off to count down the last hours of the year, and wait until the ball drops at midnight. It’s like puberty all over again.
See you in the new year. Hopefully my jokes get better by then. Doubt it.
Wow! It’s hard to believe that 2016 is coming to a close already. No matter how many times I say that I can not wrap my head around that. Much like trying to wrap my head around the notion that Donald Trump will be the next president of the United States. If anything he shows us that you can have any job in the world whether or not you are qualified to have it. So starting next year I will be performing brain surgeries out the back of my truck. That way you can save money on not needing to go to the emergency room. It’s a win-win for both of us. Anyways…
This year has been an incredible year for me personally. The year started off with me making a quest out to the Lonely Mountain, Erebor, to reclaim my homeland… OK, that may or may not have been the plot to the Hobbit.. Or was the Hobbit a true story? I’ll never tell. This year would be a major change to my way of living and being. At the mid point of 2015 I decided to clean up my life and the way I was not living a life, and make major changes in my life. I had a goal of where I wanted to go in life, and what I wanted out of it, and I set out to reach that goal. I had absolutely no idea how to do it, or even get there. Frankly it was scary thinking of change like that but I knew deep within myself that I needed it. I had to change. I could no longer live the way I was living. For it was killing me, slowly. I was destroying myself. From the inside out. I was 35 and I needed something more to my life. My life had to be more than just existing, and surviving each day. So I set out to make something of myself. I grabbed a pocket full of crystals for my chakras, and a good grounding crystal, for fear, and set out to change my world. Next did I think I would be where I am today.
So it 2016, I had the crazy notion that I would keep building on that and go the distance. I had it in my head that I would take a vacation. The first vacation in about 11 years to be exact. My vacations up until that point had been all staycations, and this time, I thought, let’s go someplace fun. 10 years ago I would have thought I had lost my marbles, thinking such a thought. The last vacation I took with my family was not a happy experience for me. I had so much anxiety, and panic, that I was miserable the whole time and vowed to never take a vacation again. I did not want to go through THAT again.
Yet, I would not let that guy be me, and let myself deter myself from reaching that goal. So I put it in motion to go forward and take that vacation. I knew it was a huge step, and that I could not just jump out there and go. I would have ran away. I had to start slow and build up to it. So I planned two vacations for myself in one year. Say what?! I know, crazy. From no vacations to two vacations. I planned a smaller vacation, with a friend, to the Pocono’s, to hang out and tour the sights. His family have a place up there which meant we had a place to stay at and did not have to pay to stay for the week. Score. So come February I headed out on vacation for the first time in a decade. I had to drive myself up there, alone, as that was much easier for me. I don’t like to have people in my car when I get all anxious and not feeling well. Yet while we were up there I was the main driver, and drove my friend around all week. So I was literally knocking two fears off the bucket list. And then I went out and bought a bucket to make a list. Found out, that’s not how you make a bucket list at all.
After the success of the vacation I was on a literal emotional high for the first time in a long, long time. That I was not going to just stop there. I still had another vacation to go and to get there it would take some work. So to speak. So I set out on a weekly adventure. Taking myself out one place a week, every week, for a year. I am now in the 40th week of it. Getting close to the year mark. So exciting for that. I thought at the time that going out once a week would be way too much. Yet now it’s common for me to go out three to four times a week. At first I started out slow. I took myself hiking in the woods. And thankfully I did not get lost out there. That did almost happen and I was very scary. Thank God for GPS. The places and the distances varied. From local, to all the way in the next state over. To all the way a few states over. From only a few hours to being out all night/day long. I started just taking myself places. I was OK with that it was easy on me. I never expected that I would meet like minded people and we would become friends and go the the dinner every other week or so. Life is amazing and it can truly surprise you if you let it.
I would then start taking development classes and workshops as I had plans for what I wanted out of life. And have been working to reach that goal. And in the process I’ve met so many incredible and talented people who have believed in me, encouraged me, and saw something within me, that not even I saw. They have all changed my life in so many ways. They even encouraged me to start doing Oracle Card readings in public for people and now next year, I will have my first own table at a spiritual expo. I look forward to that and hope to have more tables than that one. Not bad for a person who used to be afraid of seeing his own shadow, cause that meant he was outside, and outside was scary. Now I interact with people and have talked to, and met so many wonderful people. Wait, I already said that. Is this like deja vu? Or deja moo? Return of the cow?
Each of those weekly adventures really, really, helped me reach that goal of taking my first real vacation in over a decade. And I had a blast doing it. Visiting Washington D.C. and seeing the Smithsonian. So many firsts were accomplished. I did it all on my own. Had no one else do it for me. Which was a first for me. It was nice to take charge like that. I even rode the metro all by myself. Still think it’s unnatural taking such a fast moving train. I even spent the whole day down there with a friend and saw the White House. There was so much to see down there that it was impossible to see it all at once. Which just means I will be able to get down there again.
This year even saw my go deeper into my healing sessions and get a Reiki session on myself, get myself a tune-up attunement, and attend some crystal bowl healing sessions. They have all been incredible and priceless to my healing. (If you get the chance to do a Reiki session or crystal bowl. Try them out.) Helping me release and let go of so much. Allowing me to open back up to things I have been so closed down to over the years. Allowing me to feel and experience so much more in my life. Loving the energy work that I even did a Reiki session on a friend of mine, and may even do some more in the coming year. I have taken many other workshops, and classes, over the year. Learning and growing, developing and bettering myself. And plan to take even more classes in the coming year. There are a few in January I am looking forward to. I may even take another vacation in the New Year as well.
I still have much to see and do in the coming year(s). I have changed so much in my life for the better. And I plan to keep on changing and growing and bettering myself. I took a huge first step in changing my life. Changing me. I am doing things I never thought I would or could. Yet I have and lived through them all. I know now that there is so much more to life and living and I plan to live my life better and more. I am hopeful for my future to see myself do even more. To change more of my life. To take myself out of a job that I no longer enjoy or love doing to something I love and enjoy going to work. So when I am on vacation again I don’t dread going back to work. I deserve that. We all do. I know now that I am worthy of good things. In the New Year I plan to continue to build this blog up to more and more. My journey has been an incredible one and I enjoy sharing it with everyone. I will look forward to reaching the year mark on my weekly adventures and can’t wait to see where my adventures take me after that. This is only the beginning of my story. Why not start your own adventure in 2017?
This week I am starting off with a bang, or in this case, roller skates. Today was my nephew’s second birthday and they decided to celebrate it at a skating ring. Which in itself back in the day would be enough to send me through a panic attack worrying about going there. Let alone the idea of actually going out to skate. Perish the thought the old me would have screamed. You have got to be kidding me.
That was not the case for today. While I had all intentions of going to the party. I had after all bought some presents for my little nephew, and boy is it a blast shopping for little kids. Especially when they are at that age where you can still get them fun toys. As they age it’s all about the money and the gift cards. It’s fun getting fun toys for them to play with while being jealous that you don’t have them for yourself. Then in my case trying not to buy some for myself. Yes, the struggle is real. I had not made any plans to actually skate. Though I had not really thought about it either. As I was preparing to leave I thought about whether or not I was going to skate.
Then I thought to myself how could I not go out there and skate? This blog and this journey has been about my going on adventures and trying new things. I could not really back out now. I had created so much momentum and done so much I had to keep going. I could not turn back now. I had to take the plunge and go roller skating. I started off slow and got some skates and slowly put them on. Lacing them up nice. Thinking to myself, yep, this is how I break both hips and my neck. Remembering the last time I was skating in this rink, I was a young child,. younger than 9, and slammed my head into the urinal because I could not stop in the bathroom. I was not going to let that deter me. Nor the fact that I have not roller skated in probably 22 years. I went ice skating my senior year just about 20 years ago. After put them on and standing up, came the tricky part. Trying to skate around before going onto the rink. It was a lot of fumbling and bumbling trying to get my footing.
Then after my brother in law convinced me to head out onto the floor and that I could “hug the wall” if I needed to, I went out there. And you know what? I actually did pretty good. I surprised even myself which is always a good thing. I was pretty fluid and was pretty smooth for not skating in years, and not ever really being good at it. I still am not good at stopping and I need better control, but for the first time in forever, I am happy with it. I am more happy with the fact that I went out there and did it. I did not run away. I did not make excuses to not do it. I just did it. I have learned so much about myself during this journey that it has opened my eyes to many things and brought so many new experiences into my life. A year ago I would have struggled going to this party, and even thought of excuses to not go. I am thankful that I got to attend another family function, have fun, and push myself into doing something different than I would have done before. I will even say it, I had fun, and I had a good time. I even skated pretty much the whole time I was there.
Life is an adventure and I am thankful to finally be able to enjoy it and look forward to my next wild and crazy adventure.