It’s time for me to be healthy again. This is my journey back to that. 2018 has been one crazy year for me health wise. Really it started around this time in 2017. Most of my adult life I have dealt with health issues and sensitivities that created lots of anxieties and fears in being out in public. I had gotten a lot of that under control when I cleaning up my diet. Eliminating things such as processed foods and junk foods, and cutting our foods that I could not tolerate and digest. That made a huge difference in my body and helped to allow me to start getting my life back.
The adventure continues, with a journey through anxiety and meeting people. In comic form. Sorry that the writing is a little crooked there. Or perhaps it’s me that’s a little wonky.
Eye contact is something I have struggled with for a long, long time. A lot of it does stem from self esteem issues. Something that many who suffer with anxiety are also plagued with. A lot of that self esteem issues stem from being teased growing up, or hearing that I was ugly. And when you hear it enough you start to think other people think it about you. Which makes trying to make eye contact so much more challenging.
Yet like most anxious thoughts these are really just our own thoughts that are playing out. When truthfully some people are jerks, but they have no power over us, unless we give them that power over us.
And yes I do wonder… “are my eyebrows on fleek?” Can eyebrows be “too on fleek” that it intimidates people? Ha ha. 😜
Growing up cartoons were always my escape. When anxiety was rough, or the world was tough, I turned to cartoons and animation. They got my through so many of my rough times as a child and adult really. I’ve always connected with them and I’ve always loved to draw.
So I thought to myself “why don’t you use art as a form of expressing how I feel?” This blog has been so therapeutic for me it’s been such an outlet to allow me to vent what I am feeling. And to share with others who have been through or are going through the same thing. I have met so many like minded people and they have shared so many stories as I have.
It’s been about two months since I’ve written anything on this blog, not that I have not done anything in that time. Just have not written anything. If you’re not aware the Facebook page is constantly active. Where I am doing Angel card readings, occasional live FB video, and much more. So give it a like/follow if you’d like to stay on top of things.
Wow! What a year in the books for me, and hopefully for you as well. It’s crazy to think that 2017 is coming to an end. And 2018 is getting ready to pounce on us. It feels like the year just started, and now, it’s over faster than Christmas break when you are a kid. This year had a lot of firsts for me, and I did things in 2017 that I never thought I would.
It’s been two years since I started my journey of healing my life, and changing everything. I never thought where I am today would be where I would end up. When I started this journey I was alone. Sure, I had a small selection of close friends, but it was just me. This was a journey I had to take. This was something I had to do for myself. I needed to do it. I set out to change my life. I set out to go beyond my anxiety. I set out to go beyond my depression. I set out to live my life and be more than an anxious/depressed person. I was not living up to my potential. I was not living at all. I was existing. I was going through the motions. Day in. Day out. Repeat.
Setting out to heal myself has been such a liberating journey for myself. It’s also been a scary one, and a hard one at times. It’s hard in the sense that to heal ourselves we also need to confront ourselves. Confront the way we have been living. And we have to learn to accept ourselves for who we are. That last part is one of the hardest things we will do.
Accept ourselves. Accept things have happened to us, and are part of our growth and learning. Hopefully we learn from our missteps and stumbles in life. It’s easy to just sit there and wish we did this or that differently. What if we tried harder? What if we were nicer, or funnier, or better looking. What if. What if. There comes a time in our lives that we must accept that what has happened to us. Happened. And perhaps it could not have happened any other way. We can learn, in time, to let go. Many of us, myself included, want to control so much of our lives. That we sometimes forget that much is out of our hands, and all we can do is just enjoy the ride.
My journey has been a powerful journey for myself and has revolved around healing myself from the inside out. Not just with the physical issues I have faced with my body, but with the emotional healing of the mind and spirit.
That was the healing I was not expecting but was the healing I truly needed. Being a male we are told from an early age, that “boys don’t cry.” That we have to be men. And act like men. We have to be tough. This is what society dictates of us men. We have to be rough, rugged, and tough. On the inside, and it’s not OK to have feelings. If you do, just suppress them, and ignore them. As an adult if you tell a kid something he’s going to believe you. So as a kid we are always trying so hard to grow up so fast. We want to be adults. We want to stay up late. We want to do the adult things, whatever they are, we want to do them. So we stop enjoying the things about life that kids enjoy. Do the things kids do and love. If I could have fully understood that being an adult meant getting a job, and paying bills, I would have stayed a kid forever.