Month: November 2017
Setting out to heal myself has been such a liberating journey for myself. It’s also been a scary one, and a hard one at times. It’s hard in the sense that to heal ourselves we also need to confront ourselves. Confront the way we have been living. And we have to learn to accept ourselves for who we are. That last part is one of the hardest things we will do.
Accept ourselves. Accept things have happened to us, and are part of our growth and learning. Hopefully we learn from our missteps and stumbles in life. It’s easy to just sit there and wish we did this or that differently. What if we tried harder? What if we were nicer, or funnier, or better looking. What if. What if. There comes a time in our lives that we must accept that what has happened to us. Happened. And perhaps it could not have happened any other way. We can learn, in time, to let go. Many of us, myself included, want to control so much of our lives. That we sometimes forget that much is out of our hands, and all we can do is just enjoy the ride.
My journey has been a powerful journey for myself and has revolved around healing myself from the inside out. Not just with the physical issues I have faced with my body, but with the emotional healing of the mind and spirit.
That was the healing I was not expecting but was the healing I truly needed. Being a male we are told from an early age, that “boys don’t cry.” That we have to be men. And act like men. We have to be tough. This is what society dictates of us men. We have to be rough, rugged, and tough. On the inside, and it’s not OK to have feelings. If you do, just suppress them, and ignore them. As an adult if you tell a kid something he’s going to believe you. So as a kid we are always trying so hard to grow up so fast. We want to be adults. We want to stay up late. We want to do the adult things, whatever they are, we want to do them. So we stop enjoying the things about life that kids enjoy. Do the things kids do and love. If I could have fully understood that being an adult meant getting a job, and paying bills, I would have stayed a kid forever.
It’s been quite a time since I’ve written anything. Yet, my life has been a constant influx of things left and right. As I take myself out further than I could ever imagine. This year has been extremely busy for myself. I have been all over the place. Going here and there. It’s been so busy the year has just blown right on past me. I can hardly believe that the year is winding down already. It seems like the year just started the other day. Yet it’s almost December.
I had no idea where this year was going to take me. I just played it by year and let it take me to where it wanted to take me. And boy, did it take me places. There was so many first in this year. I attend many events and workshops this year. Things I would never have dreamed of attending before. Yet, I did so many, I can’t even keep count of them all. The most surprising of them all is at many of those events I had a table doing card readings for people. Something I never thought I would ever have the courage do to in front of people. Yet this year I did, and many of them I did.
This year has been all about going beyond my limits and trailblazing a life of my dreams. I took the hold of the reigns of my life and just took a ride through the wilds, and held on, and let the sled take me. I think I may have watched Rise of the Guardians one too many times there. Everyone loves the sleigh. For so long I spent my life thinking I couldn’t do this or I couldn’t go there. It was scary and so liberating to prove myself wrong. On what I could and couldn’t do. I tried. I pushed. I struggled at times. I got scared and wanted to quit. But that would have been too easy. I pushed even more. I pushed myself because I knew I could do it. I could step up and take charge so to speak. Living with anxiety for so long, I knew how easy it would be to just run away. To give into fear. To shut down. I knew to do so. Would open that door again. That door out of doing anything. That was not the world I was going back to. That was not the life I was going to live anymore.
I decided to blaze trails I had never blazed before. Do things I never thought I could. Things I didn’t think I was good enough to do. Yet I saw the only one that said I couldn’t, was me. This year saw my getting my own tables at events. As well as sharing tables with a good friend(s). This year has saw me step out of my comfort zone and onto a screen so to speak, and do FB live video in front of many people, where I do love angel card readings for people. Which has now become an every other week thing. I have stepped out even further and this weekend I gave a talk in front of people, about the healing powers of crystals, and connecting with the Angels. I would never have thought of doing such a thing. Not because of a fear of public speaking. Just a fear of myself and being good enough to do that. Yet, I pushed through that fear. Even though I wanted to run away and not even attend that event. Yet I went, and did the talk, and people enjoyed that, and would love to see more in the talk. Which now opens more doors for me to doing a longer talk. All because I chose to live the life I choose to live. I choose to blaze my own life. To whatever I wanted to do. And it has been an incredible journey to so many new things and people.
I look forward to where life can take me. What I can do next. Because so many doors are finally opening for me, and it feels incredible. I will be giving that talk again next month, and this time, I will be more at ease at it, and I will have much more to say. Because there is much for me to say and share. And I look forward to doing so.
If you have not seen the FB page, you can check it out, and see past videos, as well as upcoming events I will be at.
In the USA this week is Thanksgiving, and I have so much to be thankful for. This has been an incredible year for me. I plan to make next year even more so.