Change

Wanting to heal your life. 

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Wanting to heal my life has become a normal part of my life these days. I have spent the past two years doing just that, healing my life. However that was not always the way it was. And for many other people in these shoes, or similar shoes, healing their life is not part of it. In my opinion it is why so Kant people become frustrated with their lives and stuck in ruts. I know from personal experience what it is like to be in a rut that one feels like they can never climb out of. 

The biggest setback people have in making real change within themselves is a lack of wanting to heal and change. Change can be very scary. We don’t know what is beyond our comfort zones and beyond what we see as true for us. Everything else is unknown and that unknown scares the crap out of us. I could have just went out that one day, and then, been done with it, had I not have had a desire to heal myself and change myself. Changing myself is part of healing. It will become the result of healing I should say. The more we heal and let go, the more we change and become better than what we thought we were. Because we become so much more than we ever dreamed we could be. 

For many people they struggle with this concept because they refuse to change who they are. They like who they are. But most times, who they are is lacking so much. In my experience two years ago I thought I knew who I was, turns out, I had no idea who I am, because it’s a never ending journey of self discovery and learning. That is what life is all about. Learning, experiencing, and growing. If we stop that, we might as well be dead, because we are no longer living life. 

Life truly is a mystery because you never know where it will take you and it will always give you what you are wanting to experience in some way, shape, or form. We have no control over what happens to us, for the most part, but we can control how we react to it and grow and learn from it. Most of us fight and struggle with that, and end up living a life they are not happy with. 

To get to where I am today, I had to let go of everything I thought I was, to make room for what I wanted to be. I had to desire to heal my life from the inside out. That has been the most instrumental in healing my anxiety and fear. Was healing myself, taking my walls down, and opening up to who I truly can become. That person is so much better than the person I thought I was, and the person I will become tomorrow, will be even more so. 

It all starts with that desire to heal ourselves and our lives. It is what propels us forward to new things and growing even more in life. When we have that desire to heal, that desire to change ourselves, and be willing and open to change whatever we need to, we will find that we can move mountains within our lives to accomplish things we set out to do. It all starts with us. We have to want it. No one else can do it for us. They can guide us and teach us, and show us much, but it all comes down to us wanting to do it. We have to make those changes. We have to put in the time and the work. Then we can watch it all spiral from there. Trust me, it will spiral and grow in ways we never even thought possible. Once we light that one spark within ourselves, it will grow to a fire of epic proportions and life will be so much more for us. And we are worth that and more. We are worthy and deserving of good things and being happy. We have to allow ourselves to be so. 

Most people who struggle with anxiety have a lack of belief in themselves. They doubt what they can do. Those fears and insecurities have become such a strong presence within their mind that that is all they see and believe. It’s their normal thought processes. To release that they need to heal themselves. They need to heal that doubt. That disbelief. Once they do that they will find they are better able to manage their anxiety. Without wanting to heal themselves and their thinking those patterns of fear will always continue to play out. Is it a process that will just happen overnight. No, it will take time. Healing takes time, patience, and love. But it’s so worth it if we are willing to give it our attention. 

So today, do something good for yourself. Decide you want to heal your life and allow it to change. You will be surprised where it will take you. I know I am. It all starts with us. 

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The courage to try something new.

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Spontaneity has never been a word that was a part of my vocabulary. While I may have heard of that word in my day to day living it was not a word that I was using. The idea of it, to just go and do something, don’t think about it, don’t plan it, just do it, made me sick to my stomach and would fill me with dread.

That was my way of living. That was life in a nutshell for me. And if you’ve ever seen a nutshell they are very tiny, you can not get much in them. So to have life in one of them did not leave room for much. Such was the life I was living. It was very routine. It was very repetitive. Such is the life of a person who was plagued with anxiety. It did not help that I am also introverted. So for me I never really had that desire to be out and mingle with my fellow peeps out there.

The idea of me going against my own core ideals was very foreign to me. Yet I knew if I was to ever make something of my life. To ever have a hope of a better life I had to take everything I had ever known, everything I ever believed was true for me, and throw it all out of the window. And create basically a brand new me. For the longest time I used to say people do not change. Not really. They could change their clothing style, and maybe their likes and dislikes could change, but they wouldn’t truly change who they are. At the end of the day they would still be the same them. Just with different clothes. That is what I believed. In some ways I still believe that to be true. Yet I have seen within my own life that it is possible to change who we think we are. And in essence change who we were. Not all of us will change and that is OK. Because those things that make up us are what make us unique and different than everyone else.

Maybe that is all superficial things that we can change and our core personalities always stay the same? I dunno. Can I go from an introvert to an extrovert? I guess that is something I will have to find out for myself.

So how do we do any of it? How do we get up and change something? How can I go from an anxious guy, not living life, to being able to go on a weekly adventure for a year? How do we get the courage to do that? We can pray for that courage and beg and plead for it, and we may receive what we ask for. But it will never be how we thought it would be. What I mean by that is, we will get opportunities to be courageous, to be brave. It is up to us to act on them. And that is what I had to do. I had to take those steps to be brave. To be courageous. To go out and have an adventure. It was the only way I would ever be able to change anything about my life. I had to take initiative. I had to take the first step.

I won’t lie, it scared the crap out of me. Even with my health doing so much better before I took that step. That was crucial for me. I had to feel better physically before I could feel better emotionally. As they were linked together for me. A lot of my anxiety stemmed from a body that reacts crazy to certain foods. Once I got a handle on that I had better control over my body and that helped me to be able to take more steps in my life. For me those steps were out on weekly adventures. Even with the better health there was still the mental aspect of it. As most anxiety is fear thoughts about the future because of something that happened in the past. So to break free from those thoughts I had to recreate new thoughts that reinforced a new reality. To do that I had to keep moving forward. Keep my life going. And keep doing new things.

Each step. Each adventure gave me more belief in myself. Belief in what I was doing. Believe that I could do this. I could go out. Was it easy? No, it was not. Is it always easy to do? No, it is not. There are sometimes when I want to just fall back into my old habits, and just say no. But I know I cannot do that. I cannot fall back into things. Or I will start to say no more and more. I have to try new things. I have to keep pushing the envelope on who I think I am and keep trying. I need to keep moving. As I encourage you all to do as well. Life and time will continue to tick by. We can either just let it go on without us. Or we can join it in its eternal dance. I don’t know about you, but after 36 years of not dancing, I want to dance until the cows come home. Well not literally, I’m not much of a dancer, but if I keep my mind open, one day I may light the floor up like John Travolta.

So can we as an individual change? Can we be something different than we were? I am starting to believe it is very plausible to change if we truly want and desire to. So can I go from introverted to a social butterfly? I don’t know. I don’t know if I purposely do it. Some would say I am shy. But I am not sure if that’s fully it. I just am not a small talker. Never really know what to talk about. It’s not that I don’t talk. Heck, I don’t shut up when I start talking. Even this post is going on so long that even I forgot what I was writing about. I think it’s about courage. And pancakes. How much better pancakes are than waffles. (Sorry waffle lovers, but pancakes rule. I will give you your due for putting ice cream and waffles together. Sadly I don’t eat gluten anymore for health reasons so I don’t get pancakes in my life these days. It’s sad. Truly is. See this is what I am talking about. Long whimsical rambling that had nothing to do with this post whatsoever. )  Yet when in public or with others I am quiet and reserved. I don’t really talk. It’s like I freeze up and don’t have anything to say. Even when people engage me I will speak short sentences and phrases, to just hurry along the conversion and get you to leave me alone. I sound like a cranky old man. But can I change that? Can I change who I am and be a social butterfly? I guess there is only one way to find out.

Anyways…

Life is crazy and exciting and it’s more so to just go out there and make something of life. To just have some wild and random fun. And if you are doing it with those you love those memories will be cherished for the rest of your life. And that is totally worth it.

Now I am living a life that is fun and that I truly enjoy. I can look back at a weekend or a day and say it was time well spent and had a lot of fun. When someone texts me about a gathering that is happening and if I want to go to it, I can get out there, on a whim, and do something new, and create new memories. That is truly a blessing to have in life. To get out there and make a memory.

2017: A new year. A new adventure.

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Today is the first day of a new year. 2017. The beginning of a new chapter. A chapter that we can create and write about anything. The world is our oyster to make it anyway we see fit to create. 2016 is in the past and now we carry on, we carry our torches, and we move forward into a new horizon.

It’s amazing to see how far I have come in my journey since I started out last year. I am a completely different person. I am more confident in myself and believe more in myself. I was this, unsure, and often at times shy person. Yet, I have grown more into me.That would not have been possible had I not have taken that proverbial plunge and took myself out there and went on that first adventure so very long ago. It has literally changed my life. For the better.

Many people start their year off with high hopes, they write their resolutions. To give up that. To change this way of thinking. I have had many resolutions, and have changed so much within me. This year I am focusing more on goals and what I wish to accomplish in the new year.

I have written my goal list, and set my intentions for the new year.

Some of them include,

  • meditate more
  • do more oracle card readings
  • go on even more adventures
  • love more and truly mean it
  • spend more time learning and growing
  • become better than I was last year

 

Last year I started a regular meditation practice and this year I plan to continue with it and go deeper within my meditations, in my practice of stillness. A lot of self healing revolves around meditation, and understanding ourselves, and our needs. And who doesn’t want a few minutes of stillness/silence in their lives. My day does not feel started yet until I take time to meditate. I also started doing oracle card readings for people, and have enjoyed them, and hopefully, within the new year I will be able to do even more for people.

There is no greater force in all of creation than love. It is the one thing that stays with us through everything. People will not remember the things we bought, or even most of what we said, but they will recall the way we made them feel. They way we treated them and others. And I will work to operate more from a place of love and compassion in the new year and beyond. For that is what the world needs above all else at this time. Love and compassion for our neighbors. The world would be a much more gentler place. What we put out into the world we bring back into our own lives. So when we send out that positive energy that is the energy that comes back to us. As per the universal law of attraction.

I took so many adventures last year, and I look forward to where they will take me. The places I will see, the people I will meet. I look forward to it all. And in become a better person that who I was yesterday. That’s all we can ever really ask for ourselves.

So Happy New Year! Make this year your best year yet. No one can do it for you. So take this time to make your plan and goals for this year. And see where you end up this time next year. You may actually enjoy the ride. I know I did.

11-11: A time for real change. 

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There is a lot going on in the world these days, as we are still reacting to the results of the election, coupled with the full moon coming up. The largest full moon in like 70 years. For us sensitive people that are aware of energy we can certainly feel it these days. While many are still reeling and left confused and hurt right now, it’s a good time to step back and allow yourself to regroup and find your center and find your inner peace. 

Today, is 11-11. 11:11 is an energetic gateway for us. Many people will report seeing that time a lot in their lives. I have seen it many times over the years, and have been seeing it a lot lately. As it is a reminder of the universe about a time of great change for us. Sometimes it’s personal and other times it’s larger than that. It is also about creating our own realities that we wish to see. And that is where we are at in our lives now. The universe gives us many opportunities for various things in our lives to experience what we need to to grow and better ourselves. I’ve seen it so many times within my life. Now it can be seen starting to play out in the world. Many of us can feel it. Now is our time to start creating a better reality for ourselves which will create a better reality within the world. 

I feel what is going on now is  a major wake up call to us all, to change our lives for the better. Our lives are affecting each and everyone of us on the planet. And we know, deep down, we can do so much better. This is an opportunity for us to learn and grow, and grow together, and see us all as fellow travelers on this journey of life.

So be careful with your thoughts for they can become your reality. Now is the time to create a better life and reality for yourself. Start today.