This weekend was an action packed weekend for me. I was busy all weekend with events both days, and events on top of events. I am very exhausted and ready to sleep for a week. This weekend I was helping my friends who own a shop, On Angel’s Wings in Bordentown, NJ, with their Cranberry Fest. Which was vendors set up along the street, selling their wares, and goods. I was there helping them run their table, and at the same time doing Angel Card readings alongside them. The event was two days, and would be from 11-5 AM. An all day event. It was estimated that hundreds if not thousand people would visit this event. THAT is a lot of people. So naturally my nerves were a little high.
Not really in being at the event, or being out. Surprisingly I was not really nervous about being out all day like that. I have come so far, and gone through so many adventures, it has helped me in being more comfortable in being out in public, and at events. I was nervous about how many readings could happen, and if I was ready for such an amount of people. Of course, I also sell myself short, being my own worst enemy at times, and in me thinking I couldn’t do it. That ego mind certainly likes to sabotage us all in our pursuits of happiness.
So naturally I was not going to allow my fears, anxieties, and insecurities get the better of me, and prevent me from stepping out of my comfort zone. I did the only thing I could do, use my Reiki healing, to help soothe my emotions, ground myself out, and bring in calming energy to my solar plexus, and heart, and bring in that calm serenity. And I did just that. I pulled out the anxiety/fear, and brought in calming, cooling energy, with the help of Archangel Raphael, and within minutes my anxiety was diminished, and I could become more relaxed, and serene, and ready for the day ahead of me. I was not even upset that I had to walk far because there was not much parking there at that point.
Once there I was ready and able to jump into helping them run their table for the day, and setting up, and walking around enjoying the festival as much as I can. The energy was intense there from all the people. At times it seemed like you would get swept up in the sea of people. Eventually I could get over my fears of this public event, and get myself into doing a few readings. Then when the event was over, I made it to my sister-in-laws parents house, for a birthday party for my niece. I didn’t even hesitate or think twice about going there and being there with all these family members.
I was even able to return the next day, and do even more readings. I was able to overcome my fears and anxieties about this event with the help of Reiki. I am constantly blown away by what Reiki can do, and help me with. I experience more and more with it, all the time, and I am truly only scratching the surface of this incredible healing modality.
If you would have told me two years ago I would be at a huge public event doing card readings for people, I would have never believed you. I would have thought you got bopped in the head. Yet, here I am, two years later, doing just that. And now I am looking at venues to get out there and do even more card readings. To really get myself out there. I am truly blown away by how far I have come over the past two years. When I set out back then, I had been planning on taking my first vacation in over a decade. I was so afraid of taking it. In that span of two years, I have managed to go to the Poconos twice, Washington D.C. once, and to Gettysburg. Four vacations in two years, and I can’t wait to see where I go next. Life has changed so much for me, and I am so thrilled to see how far I have come. And look to what I will do next. Because it will amaze me even more.
So stop making excuses. If you want a better life. Get out there and start working at it. It will be lot of hard work. There will be plenty of changes you will have to make. You will stumble. You will fall. You will cry. And you will get frustrated and scared, and want to quit. But I tell you what, you can push through all of that. You can get to the other side. You can have the life you’ve dreamed of, and even more than you ever thought. Life doesn’t always give us what we want. It gives us what we need. We learn. We grow. We better ourselves. We keep moving forward.
This weekend was a very busy weekend for me. In fact this past week had me doing something every single night. This past Saturday say me attending a Paranormal event at Whitehall Mansion in Fieldsboro NJ. I would be sharing a table with a friend, doing Angel card readings. The event was scheduled from 10am to 6PM. An all day event, with us set to get there at 8:30 AM, it was set to be a long, long day.
Except this day would start a little different than the past few days, and weeks have been for me. This day would start with a terrible anxiety attack. Something of the likes I had not felt in a year and a half. This attack was quite terrible, and I almost felt like the old me. Where I was so wanting to just run away, not even go to the event. This was that strong. Over the past year and a half, or so, since I started this adventuring, I had to keep pushing myself. I knew if I were to retreat, as tempted as I was many times, it would set a trend that would keep repeating. I would use it as a way “out” if I wanted to. And in doing that, I would start doing that more and more. I kept pushing. No matter how scary it was. I kept pushing. Further and further. I could not allow this to be any different. I had to dig deep within myself to muster up the strength to go.
Go I went. I pushed myself to travel to this place, which luckily was only thirty minutes away. While driving there, I did the only thing I could think of. Use my Reiki on myself to calm my emotions, calm my energy, and soothe the anxiety. I placed my hand on my solar plexus, and the other on the steering wheel, or crashing my car would have opened a whole other can of worms for me, anxiety being the least of my concerns. Of course I could have asked Jesus to take the wheel, but people look at you all scared like if you are driving with no hands on the wheel. I then opened up to the Reiki energy to flow through me, and into me, and let Reiki do it’s magic… And I was blown away by the Reiki. That in a few short minutes my body started to relax, my anxiety start to calm itself, and in minutes I was feeling alive again, and back to being the person I had become. I kept my hand there on my solar plexus, and on the heart center, and kept the energy flowing for most of the trip to where I was going. And I felt great after I was done sending Reiki. I was calm, relaxed, and ready to take on the day ahead of me.
After arriving my friend that was going there, told me they were having a lot of anxiety, that morning. Which was the anxiety I was feeling. Being an empath, like I am, I pick up on other peoples feelings and emotions. Which helped me to understand why I was having this anxiety so out of the blue. I am starting to understand myself more and more, as I heal and open up. I am learning so much about myself. Being an empath my whole life, I probably suffered through many anxiety attacks, or random depression, that was not mine. I was just picking it up. Long before I learned to shield and ground those energies.
There was a lot of energy at this place, not just from the people, but the building itself. As the building dates back to the 1700’s, and is very active. I walked through it, on a tour, and picked up/sensed the energy of spirit in there. A few of them. Children running up the steps. A lady, in an old fashioned dress, and an ol’ time gangster/mobster that hangs down in the bar. It was a fun day, a few readings were had, and the anxiety did not return. I was able to enjoy the day, and myself.
I am always amazed at what Reiki can do, the healing it can bring to us. And I have only scratched the surface of energy healing, and what it can bring to us. I look forward to where it will take me, and more adventures to go on.
Yesterday, while glancing the internet, I was sadddened to learn about the loss the music industry received when it was revealed that Linkin Park frontman, Chester Bennington, had been found dead, from apparent suicide.
It is always truly heartbreaking to see someone take their life. I know first hand how bad depression can be, and to be in a place where I have wanted to take my own life numerous times. Reiki and energy healing really helped change my life and turn all that around for me, to a place of real and lasting happiness.
It then becomes more heartbreaking as most families and friends know nothing about the struggles we face, and when they do know about it, it’s usually way to late. So someone asked me, “Sad to hear that.. Why do you think this happens with out family realizing somethings wrong” I replied to them many who are depressed put on a false face, where they project a look of being happy, without actually being happy. Some don’t want others to be burdened with their pain or suffering. They don’t want their pity, and so keep it to themselves. And for a vast majority they don’t feel like they have anyone that’s really listening to them. They have a tendency to feel alone with it, even though they may not truly be alone. To them they are.
My struggle over the years was always a silent one, I didn’t really talk to people about it. It was always my burden to bare. I also did not want anyone’s pity. To me when that happens you start to feel guilty about the way you feel and act, and that just sends us further down the hole we are in. Or worse they tell us to “suck it up.” To others our struggles may not seem like a thing, but to us, they are huge. They are real. So we keep them to ourselves.
That’s not to say there is nothing you can do for those who are struggling. There is plenty to do for us. Being there for us and just listen to us. Listen to us ramble, listen to us complain. Hold that space of love and light for us. Because we are not seeing it within ourselves. We need that light to be there to remind us of what we already have within us, that we have forgotten. We don’t want to be told we are wrong, or that we shouldn’t feel that way, for many we already know that, but we can’t always help it, because we feel defeated. We are tired, and run down, from being strong all the time. So listen to us, don’t tell us how we are wrong, we hate that, we want to be heard, and loved. Because in those moments, we don’t love ourselves. To us all we see is what is wrong with us and our lives, we need to be shown and felt what is right. We need your patience, and support, and encouragement. To help us get ourselves back on our feet again. We have to find that light, and that spark within ourselves.
Finding that spark is a journey within itself. It’s not an easy one. It will be hard at times, and will really push us from the edges, back to the other edge, before we come out to the other side again. That in itself can be scary. Change always is. I struggled with depression, and even wanting to end it, for a long, long time. There was a lot within myself that needed to be changed. For there was a lot of healing that needed to be done. Those wounds within me, were still bleeding. I may not have shown it, or even saw it, but they were there, within me. I had to find the healing I needed, to come back from the edge of the void I was living at. I had to make that choice and decision that I wanted, no I needed to, heal my life. I had to truly want it. I had to come to the realization that what I was doing, the way I was living, was not working for me anymore. I needed more from life. It wasn’t life that had failed me, I had failed life, for I was not living. I was just existing in life.
It was energy healing and healing myself through using crystals, and Reiki, and crystal bowls, that really helped me open up, and change my life. Which helped bring me to people that were there for me, supportive of me, and able to see the spark within myself that I no longer saw, that really helped me find my way out of the darkness, and into the light, and no longer look back. This journey has been an incredible one. I have learned so much about myself, what I am capable of, and am now a person so drastically different than I was before I set out two years ago to change my life.
Change can be scary but it can be so incredible if we allow the chaos of it and allow ourselves to be more than we ever imagined. We are incredible beings capable of incredible things. We just forgot that along the way. The more we believe in and trust in ourselves the more our lives can truly change for the better. All it takes is us truly wanting to change. To live a better life. And then just enjoy the ride.
We all deserve happiness and we are all capable of being happy. We just have to realize happiness is within us. Not something we have to find outside of us.
(If you are struggling with depression, and suicidal thoughts, reach out to people. Talk to a trained professional. You don’t have to struggle alone. There are many there that can help you. )
Last night was another crystal bowl and Reiki meditation where I was performing Reiki while the crystal bowls were playing in the background. Allowing healing on various levels of being. It was a packed room, with twelve people participating in this event. It was our third event together in the past three months. All an incredible experience for everyone involved. To be in that environment now and doing something I love and am passionate about is such an amazing thing.
It gets me to thinking about my journey and how far I have come in the past two years. How I have transformed my life for the better in so many ways. It’s hard to believe there was a time when my life was controlled by fear and anxiety. Where I avoided everything. Life. People. Living. Now I am doing events like this, and the fear I once had, is no longer there controlling me. I am free. To be free is such a wonderful thing. Now I work to help others change their life and be free too.
My life has been a wild and crazy roller coaster over the years and has taken me to places I never dreamed of, and am doing things I never thought I could or would. All because I took a chance and took a leap of faith into the world. It was scary but I was no longer going to let that fear run my life. I love interacting with people and helping them make changes in their life. Reiki allows me to be able to do that as I’ve seen what Reiki and energy work can do. Reiki is just one of the many tools I have acquired over the years of healing myself.
I have been asked many questions on what is Reiki and I hope to answer some of them for people with this post.
So what is Reiki?
Reiki is a healing technique based on the principle that the therapist can channel energy into the patient by means of touch, to activate the natural healing processes of the patient’s body and restore physical and emotional well-being.
What is involved in a Reiki session?
In a typical session the client and the Reiki practitioner, get together and first talk about what brought the person to them. What they are hoping to achieve from a Reiki session and for new people a quick rundown of what to expect and what Reiki is.
The client then usually lays on a massage table, or in some cases a chair, and the Reiki practitioner connects to the Reiki energy and begins to channel it into the client through their hands, and into their body through various hand positions on the body. Reiki can also be done hands off as well. Reiki is conscious enough to go where it is needed. To bring balance to the body, mind, and spirit, to help the bodies own natural healing abilities and to strength the organs within the body.
Reiki so based on the principle of channeling universal life force, known to some as Chi or Qi.
A typical session can last from 30 minutes to an hour and a half. Most are usually an hour. Afterwards the client will feel relaxed, calm, and peaceful. During a session a client may fall asleep, or have an emotional response, such as crying. It’s all part of the healing process.
After wards it is recommended to drink plenty of water to help flush out any toxins and energies that are no longer needed by the body. It’s not uncommon to be thirsty and drink a lot, as well as use the bathroom frequently to expel it all, as well as have strange dreams, and even sleep a good night afterwards. Each session is unique to the person receiving it.
During a session a person may feel warmth, cold, tingles, or even have visions or feel loved ones around them. Most report a feeling of calm and peace.
A Reiki practitioner may also incorporate crystals or sound into the healing session.
Reiki and energy healing is about bringing balance to the individual who is seeking healing. A Reiki practitioner is only a channel for the Reiki energies, healing is up to the person that seeks healing.
If given a chance to experience a Reiki session, I recommend it. It may just change your life as it has me.
Energy healing does not replace medical treatment or medical advice. It’s a compliment to help you along your healing journey. To bring balance and wholeness to your entire being.
Shadows of the past – sounds like a movie in the Star Wars universe. Some days life feels like a sci-fi movie. I think my life could certainly use a theme song to it. Or at least Morgan Freeman narrating it. How awesome would life be if that happened? It would be epic.
As I have worked with Reiki, crystals bowls, and various healers, I have gone through many layers of myself. I have brought forth parts of me I no longer remember and parts of me I didn’t even know existed.
The more I have opened up to that, the more I have seen how much the past has cast its dark shadow upon my life. It’s that last thg can create so much anxiety, and fear within us. As we hold on to our baggage that we just for some reason or another can not let go of. Perhaps because it’s familiar to us or it’s just how we identify ourselves as. Some times we hold them because we don’t want them to repeat so if we remember that John was mean to he, we hold that baggage so no one else hurts us ever again. But really at the end of the day, who does it hurt by holding it? We do. It affects us and any future encounter with people. This baggage creates doubts and those doubts feed our insecurities and we start to just descend into dark places of the mind that start to make us feel paranoid about others. This baggage, all it ends up doing is robbing us of peace.
The more we cling to it, the tighter our grip becomes, the more we lose ourselves in the process. We become consumed by it and that becomes all we can see.
We then have a choice; continue to grip our baggage tight or let go of it and open our hands up to new experiences with an innocent mind. A mind that is not stuck on the past. A mind that can be one to trust life. Trust another person. For me I have spent so long living with baggage. Unable to let it go. Unable to trust in people. I have experienced the insecurities in brings to the mind. Causing me to push away the world in the past. I choose to live a better life. I choose to be happy now.
Working on myself has shown me many truths about myself. I know I am not perfect. I have a lot of work to do on myself. And truthfully we all do. We just have to be willing and ready to do so. Not everyone is ready. And that is ok. That is their journey. Each day I strive to be a better person than I was yesterday. I have come so far in my healing, my development, and life, within the past year. I look forward to where next year, and five years from now will take.
I am glad I took those first steps to change my life. I can’t imagine my life any other way now.
This past Monday I had the opportunity to once again be a part of a crystal bowl meditation, Halo Wellness in Marlton, NJ, while I provided Reiki on those who were a part of this meditation. The bowls were being played by my good friend, Beth.
I’ve mentioned before my love for the crystal bowls and how much they have helped my healing journey. They have helped me clear out so much from my energy body, aura, and even my chakras. They have been so instrumental in helping me open up more and be able to step fully into my own power. I still have ways to go with my healing, but know I am on the right track. So to be able to be part of a meditation with them has been an incredible experience for me.
I am forever thankful for this journey. Reiki has now become such a huge part of my life and I can’t imagine my life without Reiki. I spent the past decade trying to run away from doing Reiki, but it always called me back to. Now I am happy to be listening to it’s call. I love Reiki, energy work, and what it can do for us. I look forward to what more it can do for me, my healing, and helping others. I have only scratched the surface of Reiki and I look forward to where it will take me.
It’s been a few weeks since I have written anything on this blog. After I reached my year goal I took some time off from writing here. I did not stop the journey and adventures. Just did not get around to writing about them. It was a much needed rest from the joys of blogging. As in some ways it started to feel like a chore to keep weekly updating. I am forever grateful for it as it pushed me to keep writing and keep going forward. Something that my life was completely missing.
Another thing that my life did not have, living with anxiety/panic, was spontaneity. To just go out and do something. Don’t think about it, just do it. Such was the case of yesterday when I saw on Facebook that there as a Reiki share going on 25 minutes from where I lived. And I opted to check it out. For those not familiar with a Reiki share, what it is is Reiki practitioners coming together through Reiki and sharing that energy with each other, doing little mini Reiki sessions on earth other. To connect with and strengthen their connection to Reiki and to just share the love. I have attended one of this back last year, but this is the first one in close to a year that I have attended. I have fallen in love with Reiki over the past few months, and have been working with it more and more. So much so that I am now offering Reiki sessions in Medford NJ. I am using Reiki all the time now. It is changing my life in so many ways and once again I am so thankful for it, and for this journey. It is brought so many wonderful experiences and people into my life. Reiki has been calling me, off and on, for 10 years now. I always kept ignoring its call. It is nice to have finally listened. Now I’m wishing I listened so long ago. Men, am I right? We never listen.
Before I started this journey I would have never even just gone to a random building, with people I did not know. And be there for 2-3 hours like that. It would have been an anxiety overload. I would have run from the place screaming, and flailing my hands in the air. (FYI, that is how I would run. Or would I? You’ll never know. ) To have that freedom to be able to do that and not think about it, or worry about it, or throw up before hand, is such a blessing in my life. To be free like that. To enjoy life. The spontaneity of it all. I am thankful beyond words. If I had not wanted to change my life, to actually get up and do it. To do whatever was needed to do it. I would not be where I am in life right now. I would have been in a dark place, stuffing my face with junk food to numb the pain, be obese, and hate myself and my life. I’ve walked that path, and I have no plans to ever get back there. I am looking forward to the future and where it will take me. With my head held high, and a smile on my face.